What do you think of these two poems?

I've been so busy, I'm falling out of practice with my writing and need some insight, thanks.





Let Us Meet Again





We were bonded by cigarettes and insomnia;


two in a tray and one pile of ash.


Joined together in the foggy haze of a bar,


where we contemplated life.





And sometimes, my friend, we shine so brightly upon that which we love, that we unwittingly cast





shadows upon everything else,


like our dreams, our dreams.





And the smoke clouds have to clear before we can breathe and the light has to dim before we can





see


where we are, where we're going. And along our midnight road, the circadian rhythms of a





sleeping world only act as a sieve to questions only clarified beyond the horizons of a tray.


And so we have to part ways.





And though it seems so far a distance to travel and the weight of an empty universe is heavy,


we have to tell ourselves that this too is only temporary; gravity, time, and matter-


and that perhaps the bright blaze of a dying ember had lived as long as a star.





And these smoldering cinders are but a small portion of who we really are.


Be Patient, my love, we've already traveled so far.

What do you think of these two poems?
The second one plain sucks.





The first has some nice alliteration, some good visuals...but is unclear whether its about a friend or a lover. It would make interesting LYRICS, though!