Do you like this poem?........Sorry I couldn't find another category that fit this better. =(?

I see you through Campfire eyes....





I see your hair glowing in the light,


Your skin radiating truth


Your eyes ready to give way,


to the man I hope to see one day...





Your hands cuddle through the fire


Hoping to catch a spark of golden warmth





I see the young face


Look up, towards the stars


And I hear your voice


With a tear caught in your throat


"You think they'll be watching over us?"





In the Campfire light, I see the man I once thought


Perfect


And yet, when I see those beautiful flaws


I know, I don't need a perfect boy to show me


the road to love





As you sit here, with the fire blazing before us


I talk to your thoughts,


And chant to them....soothing songs,


I tell them not to be afraid,


Because we've all made mistakes...

Do you like this poem?........Sorry I couldn't find another category that fit this better. =(?
You've got some good imagery. Keep it coming! The line ending, "those beautiful flaws" is so vague but should be more imagistically powerful than the rest; we're left wondering what these flaws specifically are. The last stanza doesn't live up to the rest of the poem. You start very strong, but you end with some general and vague lines that take the reader out of the scene. The stanza ending with the male character saying"You think they'll be watching us tonight" is by far your best. It gives us a sense of "issue" in the poem, a problem. Make the rest as specific and telling as that stanza.
Reply:One of the most amazing poems I have ever read on here, I really feel the theme, and scene that you display, it makes me feel as if the night will never end.




















To bad it will.
Reply:I think you're very talented and should keep on writing. The only thing I would change would be the word 'cuddle.' It doesn't quite fit. Other than that, you've done a fine job. Very good!