Saturday, November 14, 2009

What do you hear in the silence? A rewrite, pin point please?

A rewrite caused by a TLC dominant yahoo muse.








What do you hear


in the silence,


does silence call your name?





As the bold blazing sun rises at morn,


sunset sinking with golden nuance.


On the rise of the moon


in a sparkling star lit sky


over ocean's blue at the neap of tide.





Do you hear the silence?





Upon a cool spring breeze,


do winds whisper in your ear


while green leafs dance on large old trees.





Do you hear the frantic flutter flight


of butterflies wings,


The warning buzz of a hungry bee


The labor pains of a bursting bloom


rooted deep in fertile earth.





Sh-Hush listen to the silence


does it call your name?

What do you hear in the silence? A rewrite, pin point please?
I love it. This poem calls my spirit. What a lovely description of the beauty to be held when one quiets their mind. Perhaps there is not really such a thing as silence because our beautiful earth and the great cosmos will keep humming along, whether we listen or not. The sound of silence is the most profound melody, it's up to us just to listen. You brought me to those majestic (yet familiar) places with you in this poem. I especially love the line "The labor pains of a bursting bloom, rooted deep in fertile earth". Yes, silence calls my name.
Reply:very nice poem!!!


I LIKE IT!!


8 out of 10!


lookin' good!!
Reply:.... the hum of existence....
Reply:BEAUTIFUL Jenny! I'd give it a 9-10.


Gorgeous imagery!
Reply:This is very good , but to me perhaps just a tiny bit too heavy with adjectives. Still a great write :)
Reply:Sweet notes of nature.
Reply:very good! it was awesome!!!!


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