My poem...advice..editing...anyth...

I glow like New York City,


And burn like the desert,


I’m just as blind as the love I’m chasing





I shine like the stars in the sky,


And fall when they die


Only to realize love is just another lie





Blazing like the sun


Burning like a candle


…Time is fading…





I crash like the waves


Drink up the shore


Over and over, no more





Like a record player


The same beat


The same tune





All I’m asking for


Is something new

My poem...advice..editing...anyth...
I like it! Love it infact! Because a poem doesn't have to rythme to be good! I'd probably rephrase the second stanza so that like the rest of the poem it doesn't rythme, but instead focuses on your message...





"I shine like the stars above


And fall when they die.


Only to realize love is just another lie."





Not much difference, I know. But it's great how you have it too. Other than that, have you thought of a good title for it yet??





That's important!
Reply:I really like it, i think you need you have one more line at the very end... just after "is something new", but thats what i think. Its your poem so if you like it thats the main thing.
Reply:Fantastic 10/10 with great similes to feel the emotion and understand it better. Great job!!!
Reply:11/10 I really love it!
Reply:woah! that was like the best poem i have ever read!

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