Charlotte.....?

Charlotte, oh charlotte


I hear the wind whisper your name


All the heartache I went through


A time when all our dreams would come true


A time when all we had was innocents


You are safe now on the other side


I told you I would hold on I would be strong


Well that was the first time I lied


The time is right my stars are aligned


Not thinking of all the things I will leave behind


Feeling the rope around my neck


I can since you are near


But the whispers of your name is all I hear


For some reason I stop


I see the blazing fire


I see your smile as it takes me higher


I remember when you got sick


My depression that I could not kick


The thing that I really miss


Would be your sweet kiss


I will go on alone


This much I know


Ever since you left long ago


Charlotte, oh charlotte

Charlotte.....?
Excellent, splendid, superb....It would take me a whole dictionary to properly commend you on this epic feat. This poem really touched me dude....


The imagery you evoke within the mind of the reader was astounding....dumbfounding even! The descriptions were excellent and there was hardly any ambiguity despite the relative intricacy of your diction, because you bind the poem so well.


The way you write is so vigorous and passionate. You write more from your heart then your brain for this is evident in all your poems. Your descriptions are superlative, full of detail yet easy to comprehend and acknowledge. Your harmony of words seem to just carefully, yet thoroughly paint a picture within our minds. The descriptions/imagery you've provided within the poem appeals to a variation of the major senses.


I enjoy your use of various poetic techniques such as personification, which you apply to the smile of your presumed lover.


I also enjoy how the persona is somewhat grievous at the loss of his gf due to a physical ailment of some sort not told, yet realises after seeming to experience or undergo some sort of psychological realisation that suicide and grieving wasn't the best alternative but rather to remain sturdy and tough. This sudden transition was perhaps a slight fault, because you describe it so quickly without much detail almost as though it was a sub-conscious/intuitive reaction of his. Perhaps you could have elaborated on this sudden change of fate a bit more.


In line 12, you use since instead of sense, which is presumably a typeover or perhaps a deliberate error to emphasise on his frustration. This could perhaps be an example of pastiche, because this intentional flaw is somewhat chaotic or ugly.


Your meter is also unique too, with the poem consisting of some rhyming couplets whilst other non-rhyming lines.





Anyway, dude, there isn't much you can say to this except...


'F*****ing brilliant!! ahaha, forgive me for the obscenities, perhaps an unnecessary hyperbole lol.


Dude, your poetry rocks


Seriously, change your name to King of poetry on y/a.
Reply:there doesn't seem to be a questions here. however, in line 5, I think you mean "innocence" which is what someone is versus 'innocents' which is the people who are innocent. Thought you might want to correct this in case you wish to publish this poem further. Pretty good poem--hope it is not a 'true story' as is sad.
Reply:Very fantastic poem from deep in the heart and soul.This is absolutely one of your poems i love the best.They all are so great though and i agree with caden your a great poet' about the king' but i rather like the Black Knight though.
Reply:Absolutely splendid.


You are a brilliant poet.

deodorant