"nihil verum nisi mors"
translation, "the only truth is the finality of death"
Through blaze orange skies,
endless springtime chills.
I really can't just hide inside,
my broken, shattered mind.
Children of the empty cross,
the fear the wrath of angels.
The sun, the moon, play vicious games,
watch them bleed then watch them die.
Life, it starts to fade away,
the moment you are born.
not afraid, no more fear,
No more boring pain.
A bloodred light, black horizin,
you will die...I'll live again.
Seven seals all been broke,
Seven angels in hatred crawl.
Am i a devil, in your eyes,
my face lost in your eyes.
Now you are gone for good,
from the stars til the darkest night.
Dark Prince lives. LOL How is this.?
Hi DP! Cogito ergo sum
You do not want to hear what I have to say.
You are a genius with words and a natural poet. One thing you're missing, but life is a process, and that is this. You are totally focused on yourself, your problems, your poetry, your world. A lot of people believe that once you have dealt with your own problems, and worked most of them out, you can take the next step and try to reach out to others. Right now, you're doing all the talking. You ask for answers to your questions, but you, at least on the surface, appear unchanged. I do not believe you want constructive criticism. You want affirmation of your worth as an individual, and I don't blame you for this: I need it too. I'm guilty! But look at yourself: indulging once again in yourself in your self-pity and raging at life and raging at the world, as Wm. Faulkner wrote,
"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."
If this is all you're capable of right now, then I commend you, I praise you, you are a hero to me, because you are a fighter, and this is how far you've gotten.
But you are capable of so much more. But you are in so much pain that you can't think of much else. But like I told you - I've been there, done that - 3 mental hospitals, 15 doctors, 30 different medications - lithium - dalmane - prozac - you name it - I took it - 22 years - a divorce - bankruptcy - $100,000 in medical bills - unable to hold down a job - unable to work - attempted suicide multiple times - almost succeeded. You're not the only one dealing with pain. But you are, nevertheless, totally immersed in yourself. And this is normal and OK. You are OK with me. I like you; I commend you, more. I call you a friend.
You are not the only one in pain, but I cannot objectively measure or quantify the subjective reality of pain, so I cannot judge you. Yet, you are immersed in the cocoon of your own pain. If you ever can see outside of it, you will realize the meaning of your life will only be found when you realize that other people are in pain too, and you are not the center of the universe, merely one person of many millions and billions in pain.
Reach out, my friend, reach out. This is your answer; this is your escape. But you don't want to. You are addicted to the morphine of your self-pity, grand-standing before all the world, and acting the child, the fool, Faulkner's "idiot".
You are none of these things!! But "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." You have been warned. Now the ball is in your court. I love you, my friend. I love you very much. You are my star child.
star child
so far away alone
standing on the edge of the universe
you can't be reached
you can't be played
you can’t be preached
you've traveled so far
you are the only one
you think
the earth lies in wait
your virgin touch
your imagination and faith to burst forth
soon you will emerge
from the cocoon of your pain
alone inside, you will find the way
if you can
and you can
only if you will
my prayer is not for you
though i love you
my prayer is for
the idea of you
who you alone were meant to be
you are one of us forever
come, come near
one of the holy ever dear
you are the lost unknown and unimagined
as of yet
find peace
in a still moment passing
and the universe will dare you
though it has scared you
in your secret/ secret now untied
tell your story star child
you will not happen again
and i love you as you never know
and i pray for you
to pray for me once too
for how do you think it is
i know you so?
i too was once
star child
Reply:Hi there
This poem unfortunately has a real sense of hopelessness about it.
When I read it I feel despair for the Author.
When I read it I feel sad, sad that there is no hope for those that die with out faith and belief.
Is there happiness in knowing that you will live again.
Is there Happiness knowing the seven seals are being broken.
Is there happiness knowing that there are so many who do not know and understand about the seven seals, and living again.
No only a sense of hopelessness
Maybe you could give us one that is a bit more uplifting next time round.........Thanks...........
...............Cheers.................
Reply:ok the poem is just ok to me as far as the dark arts lmao ok jeez no wonder i stopped commenting on these things. And countess Bathory your true love a sick serial killer from like the 1800's who thought bathing in the blood of virgins would keep her looking young you really think she died too young? They sealed her up in a tower in her home because she had issues
I'm sorry but curses do not work
Reply:Interesting but I have heard that before somewhere?
An album cover maybe?
This should depress me and weird me out, but it only means something to those who feel it, yes?
For I do not feel anything from this as it lacks something? Did that something just crawl away and die? And was it left to fester into shallow stagnate pits of pityness.
Reply:OK, but its a bit puny for a spell isn't darlingk?
I have been cursed by far much worse than this.
Reply:Don't know why... It made me think of this: http://bernardcornwell.net/index.cfm?pag...
Happy whatever it is you do.
Reply:For some reason this sounds very much like you have just cast a spell on someone.
Good
Reply:OK! :)
shoe buckles
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Imagery poem?
i need a poem for class and i found this one can you tell me if there is imagery in it because i think there is but not completely sure
Without Jews, no Jewish God.
If, God forbid, we should quit
this world, Your poor tent's light
would out.
Abraham knew You in a cloud:
since then, You are the flame
of our face, the rays
our eyes blaze,
our likeness
whom we formed:
in every land and town
a stranger.
Shattered Jewish skulls,
shards of the divine,
smashed, shamed pots--
there were Your light-bearing vessels,
Your tangibles,
Your portents of miracle!
Now count these heads
by the millions of the dead.
Around You the stars go dark.
Our memory of You, obscured.
Soon Your reign will close.
Where Jews sowed,
a scorched waste.
Dews weep
on dead grass,
The dream raped,
reality raped,
both blotted out.
Whole congregations sleep,
the babies, the women,
the young, the old.
Even Your pillars, Your rocks,
the tribe of Your saints,
sleep their dead
eternal sleep
Imagery poem?
YES;;;one of the points is ;;;; rocks SLEEPING;;God bless you real GOOD ;;//;;A---MEN
Without Jews, no Jewish God.
If, God forbid, we should quit
this world, Your poor tent's light
would out.
Abraham knew You in a cloud:
since then, You are the flame
of our face, the rays
our eyes blaze,
our likeness
whom we formed:
in every land and town
a stranger.
Shattered Jewish skulls,
shards of the divine,
smashed, shamed pots--
there were Your light-bearing vessels,
Your tangibles,
Your portents of miracle!
Now count these heads
by the millions of the dead.
Around You the stars go dark.
Our memory of You, obscured.
Soon Your reign will close.
Where Jews sowed,
a scorched waste.
Dews weep
on dead grass,
The dream raped,
reality raped,
both blotted out.
Whole congregations sleep,
the babies, the women,
the young, the old.
Even Your pillars, Your rocks,
the tribe of Your saints,
sleep their dead
eternal sleep
Imagery poem?
YES;;;one of the points is ;;;; rocks SLEEPING;;God bless you real GOOD ;;//;;A---MEN
Its a bit late, but here's a poem I wrote for Bonfire Night - what thinks you?
Bonfire Night
Smell this smoke that is my breath
Feel the flame that is my blood
Taste this heat that is my heart
Feed my hunger with your wood
Touch the ash that is my spit
Hear my fingers scrape the sky
Let my blaze fuse your face
See my tongue tease poor Guy
(Look now how I make him sigh
Make him cry, make him fry
Chase the devil from his eye
He is mine and he shall die!)
Screech your rockets to the stars
Crack your candles, spin your wheels
Breathe my colour, drink my vapour
Now you know how burning feels
Watch me dance and wave and sing
And remember oh remember
How I roared and soared and scorched
Before I sleep within my ember.
Its a bit late, but here's a poem I wrote for Bonfire Night - what thinks you?
Dang i became your fan last time with your one poem about the dead lady. But now i might be one of your biggest fans! You should really consider writing these down and submitting them into contest and things like that!!!
Reply:I think you have a lot of talent here.You spoke from the fires point of view.I could just image the fire talking to me.Continue writing poetry.You have style.I enjoyed this poem very much.
Ladybug
Reply:Not bad, drolls on a little bit however, nice safe emotion, non-risky which is a downer I have to admit, overall well done.
Smell this smoke that is my breath
Feel the flame that is my blood
Taste this heat that is my heart
Feed my hunger with your wood
Touch the ash that is my spit
Hear my fingers scrape the sky
Let my blaze fuse your face
See my tongue tease poor Guy
(Look now how I make him sigh
Make him cry, make him fry
Chase the devil from his eye
He is mine and he shall die!)
Screech your rockets to the stars
Crack your candles, spin your wheels
Breathe my colour, drink my vapour
Now you know how burning feels
Watch me dance and wave and sing
And remember oh remember
How I roared and soared and scorched
Before I sleep within my ember.
Its a bit late, but here's a poem I wrote for Bonfire Night - what thinks you?
Dang i became your fan last time with your one poem about the dead lady. But now i might be one of your biggest fans! You should really consider writing these down and submitting them into contest and things like that!!!
Reply:I think you have a lot of talent here.You spoke from the fires point of view.I could just image the fire talking to me.Continue writing poetry.You have style.I enjoyed this poem very much.
Ladybug
Reply:Not bad, drolls on a little bit however, nice safe emotion, non-risky which is a downer I have to admit, overall well done.
Here are a few small poems of mine, please comment?
what do you think of them?
Black Moon
A blackened moon once was a relic
shon down a gleaming charm on silver lined sky
her years of glory, eclipsing, rotating, waiting
though shortening, shattering, soon to die.
Hypnotized
Fixated by charm
mesmerized within
pretty azure eyes
you got me dreamin’
Play me
Like a instrument
My heart pounds out a rhythm,
Pluck on my heartstrings
And ill play you a song,
Damage my heart
You’ve already won,
No more pain can I feel
As the pain is undone,
No more will I open
My heart for another,
Mistakes I’ve learnt to accept
My feelings for you,
I will never forget.
The Moon
Luminous moon
Enlighten the night
Twinkling stars
Glowing with light
Behind is the sun
Keeping it bright
Shining in darkness
It blazes alight.
Here are a few small poems of mine, please comment?
These are all pretty good! I like them.
Reply:i like the poems you have on the website. is it just your stuff, or can i get on there to? Report It
Reply:Let me preface this by stating that I am not a writer nor a literary academic, so my opinions are to be taken with a grain of salt.
Black Moon: "shon down a gleaming charm on silver lined sky" - I wouldn't use both 'shone' and 'gleaming' in the same line. Your poems are concise and therefore every word should be necessary. These two kind of make each other redundant.
Hypnotized: again, the second line kind of feels like filler.
Play Me: I think it would help the rhythm if you condensed the last two lines to one line with a similar meter to the previous line.
The Moon: I like this one as it is. I particularly like the astronomical truth of "Behind is the sun; Keeping it bright".
Reply:I disagree. Not all are as good. The Black Moon is too marvelous compared to the other three. This is a poem full of various dramatic shades and tones that capture the figurative fate of the moon. It reminds me of classical poetry chanted during Ancient Times to Diana and Artemis.
Hypnotized has a different flavor altogether. It has a structure and style that parallels a haiku. However, it has a very cliched and anti-climactic ending. Maybe you could work on that. Play me is not as good. But I do think it can be reworked to become a good bard song. As for the last one, I think it is simply too literal - it gives nothing but what you read on the surface. Not something a poem should be.
1 out of 4. Don't worry, the brilliant first poem eclipsed the shortcomings of the other three. What this shows is that you do have the flexibility to write with different styles. But I dare say, stick to the first one. It's the best I've read from you so far.
"With the rising curtains,
I hear the silence --
of roaring thunder
and broken darkness..."
Black Moon
A blackened moon once was a relic
shon down a gleaming charm on silver lined sky
her years of glory, eclipsing, rotating, waiting
though shortening, shattering, soon to die.
Hypnotized
Fixated by charm
mesmerized within
pretty azure eyes
you got me dreamin’
Play me
Like a instrument
My heart pounds out a rhythm,
Pluck on my heartstrings
And ill play you a song,
Damage my heart
You’ve already won,
No more pain can I feel
As the pain is undone,
No more will I open
My heart for another,
Mistakes I’ve learnt to accept
My feelings for you,
I will never forget.
The Moon
Luminous moon
Enlighten the night
Twinkling stars
Glowing with light
Behind is the sun
Keeping it bright
Shining in darkness
It blazes alight.
Here are a few small poems of mine, please comment?
These are all pretty good! I like them.
Reply:i like the poems you have on the website. is it just your stuff, or can i get on there to? Report It
Reply:Let me preface this by stating that I am not a writer nor a literary academic, so my opinions are to be taken with a grain of salt.
Black Moon: "shon down a gleaming charm on silver lined sky" - I wouldn't use both 'shone' and 'gleaming' in the same line. Your poems are concise and therefore every word should be necessary. These two kind of make each other redundant.
Hypnotized: again, the second line kind of feels like filler.
Play Me: I think it would help the rhythm if you condensed the last two lines to one line with a similar meter to the previous line.
The Moon: I like this one as it is. I particularly like the astronomical truth of "Behind is the sun; Keeping it bright".
Reply:I disagree. Not all are as good. The Black Moon is too marvelous compared to the other three. This is a poem full of various dramatic shades and tones that capture the figurative fate of the moon. It reminds me of classical poetry chanted during Ancient Times to Diana and Artemis.
Hypnotized has a different flavor altogether. It has a structure and style that parallels a haiku. However, it has a very cliched and anti-climactic ending. Maybe you could work on that. Play me is not as good. But I do think it can be reworked to become a good bard song. As for the last one, I think it is simply too literal - it gives nothing but what you read on the surface. Not something a poem should be.
1 out of 4. Don't worry, the brilliant first poem eclipsed the shortcomings of the other three. What this shows is that you do have the flexibility to write with different styles. But I dare say, stick to the first one. It's the best I've read from you so far.
"With the rising curtains,
I hear the silence --
of roaring thunder
and broken darkness..."
Poem about helping others?
how does this poem deal with helping others? i have to write an essay and i got this poem and another passage. i don't see how it helps people! please help
THERE are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,
In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths
Where highways never ran-
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
Where the race of men go by-
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner's seat
Nor hurl the cynic's ban-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
I see from my house by the side of the road
By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife,
But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,
Poem about helping others?
Look at the repeated line "And be a friend to man."
While subject to various interpretations, being a friend would include helping others.
And this helpful stance is quite in opposition to others he mentions who are not so friendly: "hermit souls that are withdrawn," or "souls like stars, who dwell apart."
There are all sorts of ways one can be a friend, depending what the needs of a person are. Identifying those needs is a part of helping others. The poem doesn't specify a certain type of help, but the poem is about helping.
shoe lasts
THERE are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,
In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths
Where highways never ran-
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
Where the race of men go by-
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner's seat
Nor hurl the cynic's ban-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
I see from my house by the side of the road
By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife,
But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,
Poem about helping others?
Look at the repeated line "And be a friend to man."
While subject to various interpretations, being a friend would include helping others.
And this helpful stance is quite in opposition to others he mentions who are not so friendly: "hermit souls that are withdrawn," or "souls like stars, who dwell apart."
There are all sorts of ways one can be a friend, depending what the needs of a person are. Identifying those needs is a part of helping others. The poem doesn't specify a certain type of help, but the poem is about helping.
shoe lasts
Whast this song?
whats the name of this song?
The faint blaze of the candle
of my life slowly dying
like a fire in the pouring rain.
No sparks of hope inside,
no shooting stars on my sky.
on broken wings, no flying high.
Another night, another demise,
Cadaverous wind blowing cold as ice.
I`ll let the wind blow out the light,
'Cuz it gets more painful Every Time I die.
Out of strength to fight,
I cannot take another night.
I cannot take it no more,
Lust of light slips through my fingers.
Like blood drips off my arms,
Black candle wax has buried me.
Another night, another demise,
Cadaverous wind blowing cold as ice,
I`ll let the wind blow out the light,
'Cuz it gets more painful everytime I die.
Whast this song?
Everytime I Die (Children Of Bodom)
Reply:don't know sorry
Reply:A HAPPY SPRING DAY by frank sinatra
Reply:oops i forgot
The faint blaze of the candle
of my life slowly dying
like a fire in the pouring rain.
No sparks of hope inside,
no shooting stars on my sky.
on broken wings, no flying high.
Another night, another demise,
Cadaverous wind blowing cold as ice.
I`ll let the wind blow out the light,
'Cuz it gets more painful Every Time I die.
Out of strength to fight,
I cannot take another night.
I cannot take it no more,
Lust of light slips through my fingers.
Like blood drips off my arms,
Black candle wax has buried me.
Another night, another demise,
Cadaverous wind blowing cold as ice,
I`ll let the wind blow out the light,
'Cuz it gets more painful everytime I die.
Whast this song?
Everytime I Die (Children Of Bodom)
Reply:don't know sorry
Reply:A HAPPY SPRING DAY by frank sinatra
Reply:oops i forgot
A small poem "The Moon"?
Its a few weeks old but do you like?
Luminous moon
Enlighten the night
Twinkling stars
Glowing with light
Behind is the sun
Keeping it bright
Shining in darkness
It blazes alight.
http://poetrysamateur.wordpress.com/
A small poem "The Moon"?
I like the intermittent rhyming scheme. I like the words used.
For me, it has this childishly cute feel to it. It's like one of those catchy rhymes that parents would tell their kids at a campfire and would get passed on. It's simplistic but that only helps its image and might have even been deliberate.
Reply:I LOVE IT!!!! It's so cute! especially since it's short nd you didn't try to force extra in. I Love it! great job and props to you :)
Reply:good
Luminous moon
Enlighten the night
Twinkling stars
Glowing with light
Behind is the sun
Keeping it bright
Shining in darkness
It blazes alight.
http://poetrysamateur.wordpress.com/
A small poem "The Moon"?
I like the intermittent rhyming scheme. I like the words used.
For me, it has this childishly cute feel to it. It's like one of those catchy rhymes that parents would tell their kids at a campfire and would get passed on. It's simplistic but that only helps its image and might have even been deliberate.
Reply:I LOVE IT!!!! It's so cute! especially since it's short nd you didn't try to force extra in. I Love it! great job and props to you :)
Reply:good
Ladies, is this a suitable v. day poem?
I gaze in awe and breathless wonder,
This sky of stars our lives live under.
Beneath this canopy of shining jewels,
We play around and act like fools.
A silver stream eternal changing,
Starlit moon, so close comes ranging.
A blaze of fire across the sky,
And in my heart I wonder, why
As constellations spin and dance,
My eyes are held with gaze in trance.
But not upon those heavens yonder,
But on you ,
I gaze in awe and breathless wonder.
or should i write some thing else
Ladies, is this a suitable v. day poem?
That is the most beautiful poem I have read in a long time. Use it and you will surely make her yours completely. =)
Reply:Thanks, and it's her loss.,,,,.;-), one day I'm sure you will find the girl that fits that poem perfectly. Report It
Reply:Amazing!
Reply:love it. congrats, you should be a poet.
Reply:That's wonderful! Anyone would be happy to recive that! 10/10
Reply:That' amazing! If you actually wrote that it's very good! =)
Reply:Beautiful
Reply:It's very sweet. Really, use it. : )
Reply:Did you write that or steal it from someone else?
Reply:WOW!! That is awesome!
Reply:SPIKE?????? Is that you???
Reply:wow...it's awesome...trust me...I hate mushy stuff...but that's good.
Reply:aaah sweet - but is it yours Cyrano?
This sky of stars our lives live under.
Beneath this canopy of shining jewels,
We play around and act like fools.
A silver stream eternal changing,
Starlit moon, so close comes ranging.
A blaze of fire across the sky,
And in my heart I wonder, why
As constellations spin and dance,
My eyes are held with gaze in trance.
But not upon those heavens yonder,
But on you ,
I gaze in awe and breathless wonder.
or should i write some thing else
Ladies, is this a suitable v. day poem?
That is the most beautiful poem I have read in a long time. Use it and you will surely make her yours completely. =)
Reply:Thanks, and it's her loss.,,,,.;-), one day I'm sure you will find the girl that fits that poem perfectly. Report It
Reply:Amazing!
Reply:love it. congrats, you should be a poet.
Reply:That's wonderful! Anyone would be happy to recive that! 10/10
Reply:That' amazing! If you actually wrote that it's very good! =)
Reply:Beautiful
Reply:It's very sweet. Really, use it. : )
Reply:Did you write that or steal it from someone else?
Reply:WOW!! That is awesome!
Reply:SPIKE?????? Is that you???
Reply:wow...it's awesome...trust me...I hate mushy stuff...but that's good.
Reply:aaah sweet - but is it yours Cyrano?
Thoughts on Mark Twain Concerning JEWS?
"If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly, the Jew ought hardly to be heard of; but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people... His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also way out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers. He has made a marvelous fight in the world, in all the ages; and has done it with his hands tied behind him.
The Egyptian, the Babylonian, and the Persian rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greek and the Roman followed, and made a vast noise, and they are gone; other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for a time, but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished..."
What do you think about this?
Thoughts on Mark Twain Concerning JEWS?
Re: the quote--Despite overwhelming obstacles, the Chosen have remained relevant longer than many once considered mighty.
And I could never understand why Twain's Huck Finn is considered racist. It is a real and honest book. And very funny, which real and honest often is.
Reply:NICE FIND... the mind of GOD /christ is why Jews and Christian..(used to be? maybe still is) are the smartest mind.
but both of our nation had turn against GOd will and blessing is held back.
but..our nation and israel are all fullfiling the prophecyof the end time anyway..america a spiritual harlot..jews persecuted once again..yet..i think ISREAL will have massive OIL under it.'
Isreal also has way to make a desert to grow food. rare flowers..ect.
Reply:Sounds about right...
Reply:Sadly, Mark Twain missed the forest for the trees and did not believe in God.
The Jews do in fact have a remarkable influence beyond their numbers in history and I agree with him on that point.
Reply:Still one of my favorites as far as famous Atheists are concerned...
Reply:I agree with first answer.
Reply:Clemens is a great writer - but he doesn't think for me in all things as he was wrong on several topics.
However on this note he's right on, and it relates to the Abrahamic covenant with the Jews and house of Israel.
Reply:Twain was actually often very condescending concerning Jews, but even that is a vast improvement on the naked anti-Semitism of most of his contempoaries.
Reply:Twain (Clemens) gets my vote for most rational man ever.
Reply:Beautiful
True
Deserved
something that should become more than just a quote, it should be the unmovable statement of all civilized peoples
(I am not Jewish but I am not afraid to see the truth.)
Reply:Mark Twain travelled the Middle East and he had a lot of respect for Jews.
He is right on the money if you ask me.
Reply:Good observation.
Reply:The Jews are God's chosen people and will always be a huge part of this planet! God's word tells us that those who bless Israel (The Jews) will be blessed and those who curse Israel will be cursed!
God Bless the Jews... I pray they will all know that Jesus is their Messiah!
Reply:Mark Twain seems to have hit it on the nose. We're less than a percentage of the people in the world, and yet we account for (among other things) 23% of Nobel Prize winners in the world including 37% of those living in the U.S. I figure we're doing SOMETHING right :-)
Nanny Profile
The Egyptian, the Babylonian, and the Persian rose, filled the planet with sound and splendor, then faded to dream-stuff and passed away; the Greek and the Roman followed, and made a vast noise, and they are gone; other peoples have sprung up and held their torch high for a time, but it burned out, and they sit in twilight now, or have vanished..."
What do you think about this?
Thoughts on Mark Twain Concerning JEWS?
Re: the quote--Despite overwhelming obstacles, the Chosen have remained relevant longer than many once considered mighty.
And I could never understand why Twain's Huck Finn is considered racist. It is a real and honest book. And very funny, which real and honest often is.
Reply:NICE FIND... the mind of GOD /christ is why Jews and Christian..(used to be? maybe still is) are the smartest mind.
but both of our nation had turn against GOd will and blessing is held back.
but..our nation and israel are all fullfiling the prophecyof the end time anyway..america a spiritual harlot..jews persecuted once again..yet..i think ISREAL will have massive OIL under it.'
Isreal also has way to make a desert to grow food. rare flowers..ect.
Reply:Sounds about right...
Reply:Sadly, Mark Twain missed the forest for the trees and did not believe in God.
The Jews do in fact have a remarkable influence beyond their numbers in history and I agree with him on that point.
Reply:Still one of my favorites as far as famous Atheists are concerned...
Reply:I agree with first answer.
Reply:Clemens is a great writer - but he doesn't think for me in all things as he was wrong on several topics.
However on this note he's right on, and it relates to the Abrahamic covenant with the Jews and house of Israel.
Reply:Twain was actually often very condescending concerning Jews, but even that is a vast improvement on the naked anti-Semitism of most of his contempoaries.
Reply:Twain (Clemens) gets my vote for most rational man ever.
Reply:Beautiful
True
Deserved
something that should become more than just a quote, it should be the unmovable statement of all civilized peoples
(I am not Jewish but I am not afraid to see the truth.)
Reply:Mark Twain travelled the Middle East and he had a lot of respect for Jews.
He is right on the money if you ask me.
Reply:Good observation.
Reply:The Jews are God's chosen people and will always be a huge part of this planet! God's word tells us that those who bless Israel (The Jews) will be blessed and those who curse Israel will be cursed!
God Bless the Jews... I pray they will all know that Jesus is their Messiah!
Reply:Mark Twain seems to have hit it on the nose. We're less than a percentage of the people in the world, and yet we account for (among other things) 23% of Nobel Prize winners in the world including 37% of those living in the U.S. I figure we're doing SOMETHING right :-)
Nanny Profile
Please explane?
after watching 'V for vedeta i thought i should read up about guy fawkes and i found this poem in wiki pedia please explane it to me line by line and explane the old words thanks in advance. :)
"Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, let the bells ring
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip Hoorah!
Hip hip Hoorah!
A penny loaf to feed ol'Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A ****** of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,'
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol'Pope is dead.
from wikipedia
Please explane?
Remember Guy Fawkes’ plot to blow up Parliament with gunpowder on November 5!
He intended to blow up the king and Parliament, using sixty (three times twenty) barrels of gunpower in a cellar, to overthrow the government of England.
With God’s help, he was caught with a dark lantern (a kind of pre-electricity flashlight) and a lighted match.
Yay!
Down with the Pope! Give him one last meal, then kill him!
(It’s funny that Yahoo! Answers put asterisks in here. A “f@gg0t” of sticks is nothing more than a bundle of sticks. There’s nothing profame about it.)
If there are “old words” other than “score,” “dark lantern,” and “f@gg0t” that you’d like explained, please edit your question.
Reply:on november the 5th guy fawkes had intent to blow up the king and the parliment with 3 score barrels gun powder.but it dident work he got caught with a match and a lantern.and the king was saved.then a attempt to kill the pope was next. the way he plaaned to kill the pope was with fire...
Reply:i wish to help ya but i can't read such a long description...its bores.
"Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, let the bells ring
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip Hoorah!
Hip hip Hoorah!
A penny loaf to feed ol'Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A ****** of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,'
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol'Pope is dead.
from wikipedia
Please explane?
Remember Guy Fawkes’ plot to blow up Parliament with gunpowder on November 5!
He intended to blow up the king and Parliament, using sixty (three times twenty) barrels of gunpower in a cellar, to overthrow the government of England.
With God’s help, he was caught with a dark lantern (a kind of pre-electricity flashlight) and a lighted match.
Yay!
Down with the Pope! Give him one last meal, then kill him!
(It’s funny that Yahoo! Answers put asterisks in here. A “f@gg0t” of sticks is nothing more than a bundle of sticks. There’s nothing profame about it.)
If there are “old words” other than “score,” “dark lantern,” and “f@gg0t” that you’d like explained, please edit your question.
Reply:on november the 5th guy fawkes had intent to blow up the king and the parliment with 3 score barrels gun powder.but it dident work he got caught with a match and a lantern.and the king was saved.then a attempt to kill the pope was next. the way he plaaned to kill the pope was with fire...
Reply:i wish to help ya but i can't read such a long description...its bores.
Charlotte.....?
Charlotte, oh charlotte
I hear the wind whisper your name
All the heartache I went through
A time when all our dreams would come true
A time when all we had was innocents
You are safe now on the other side
I told you I would hold on I would be strong
Well that was the first time I lied
The time is right my stars are aligned
Not thinking of all the things I will leave behind
Feeling the rope around my neck
I can since you are near
But the whispers of your name is all I hear
For some reason I stop
I see the blazing fire
I see your smile as it takes me higher
I remember when you got sick
My depression that I could not kick
The thing that I really miss
Would be your sweet kiss
I will go on alone
This much I know
Ever since you left long ago
Charlotte, oh charlotte
Charlotte.....?
Excellent, splendid, superb....It would take me a whole dictionary to properly commend you on this epic feat. This poem really touched me dude....
The imagery you evoke within the mind of the reader was astounding....dumbfounding even! The descriptions were excellent and there was hardly any ambiguity despite the relative intricacy of your diction, because you bind the poem so well.
The way you write is so vigorous and passionate. You write more from your heart then your brain for this is evident in all your poems. Your descriptions are superlative, full of detail yet easy to comprehend and acknowledge. Your harmony of words seem to just carefully, yet thoroughly paint a picture within our minds. The descriptions/imagery you've provided within the poem appeals to a variation of the major senses.
I enjoy your use of various poetic techniques such as personification, which you apply to the smile of your presumed lover.
I also enjoy how the persona is somewhat grievous at the loss of his gf due to a physical ailment of some sort not told, yet realises after seeming to experience or undergo some sort of psychological realisation that suicide and grieving wasn't the best alternative but rather to remain sturdy and tough. This sudden transition was perhaps a slight fault, because you describe it so quickly without much detail almost as though it was a sub-conscious/intuitive reaction of his. Perhaps you could have elaborated on this sudden change of fate a bit more.
In line 12, you use since instead of sense, which is presumably a typeover or perhaps a deliberate error to emphasise on his frustration. This could perhaps be an example of pastiche, because this intentional flaw is somewhat chaotic or ugly.
Your meter is also unique too, with the poem consisting of some rhyming couplets whilst other non-rhyming lines.
Anyway, dude, there isn't much you can say to this except...
'F*****ing brilliant!! ahaha, forgive me for the obscenities, perhaps an unnecessary hyperbole lol.
Dude, your poetry rocks
Seriously, change your name to King of poetry on y/a.
Reply:there doesn't seem to be a questions here. however, in line 5, I think you mean "innocence" which is what someone is versus 'innocents' which is the people who are innocent. Thought you might want to correct this in case you wish to publish this poem further. Pretty good poem--hope it is not a 'true story' as is sad.
Reply:Very fantastic poem from deep in the heart and soul.This is absolutely one of your poems i love the best.They all are so great though and i agree with caden your a great poet' about the king' but i rather like the Black Knight though.
Reply:Absolutely splendid.
You are a brilliant poet.
deodorant
I hear the wind whisper your name
All the heartache I went through
A time when all our dreams would come true
A time when all we had was innocents
You are safe now on the other side
I told you I would hold on I would be strong
Well that was the first time I lied
The time is right my stars are aligned
Not thinking of all the things I will leave behind
Feeling the rope around my neck
I can since you are near
But the whispers of your name is all I hear
For some reason I stop
I see the blazing fire
I see your smile as it takes me higher
I remember when you got sick
My depression that I could not kick
The thing that I really miss
Would be your sweet kiss
I will go on alone
This much I know
Ever since you left long ago
Charlotte, oh charlotte
Charlotte.....?
Excellent, splendid, superb....It would take me a whole dictionary to properly commend you on this epic feat. This poem really touched me dude....
The imagery you evoke within the mind of the reader was astounding....dumbfounding even! The descriptions were excellent and there was hardly any ambiguity despite the relative intricacy of your diction, because you bind the poem so well.
The way you write is so vigorous and passionate. You write more from your heart then your brain for this is evident in all your poems. Your descriptions are superlative, full of detail yet easy to comprehend and acknowledge. Your harmony of words seem to just carefully, yet thoroughly paint a picture within our minds. The descriptions/imagery you've provided within the poem appeals to a variation of the major senses.
I enjoy your use of various poetic techniques such as personification, which you apply to the smile of your presumed lover.
I also enjoy how the persona is somewhat grievous at the loss of his gf due to a physical ailment of some sort not told, yet realises after seeming to experience or undergo some sort of psychological realisation that suicide and grieving wasn't the best alternative but rather to remain sturdy and tough. This sudden transition was perhaps a slight fault, because you describe it so quickly without much detail almost as though it was a sub-conscious/intuitive reaction of his. Perhaps you could have elaborated on this sudden change of fate a bit more.
In line 12, you use since instead of sense, which is presumably a typeover or perhaps a deliberate error to emphasise on his frustration. This could perhaps be an example of pastiche, because this intentional flaw is somewhat chaotic or ugly.
Your meter is also unique too, with the poem consisting of some rhyming couplets whilst other non-rhyming lines.
Anyway, dude, there isn't much you can say to this except...
'F*****ing brilliant!! ahaha, forgive me for the obscenities, perhaps an unnecessary hyperbole lol.
Dude, your poetry rocks
Seriously, change your name to King of poetry on y/a.
Reply:there doesn't seem to be a questions here. however, in line 5, I think you mean "innocence" which is what someone is versus 'innocents' which is the people who are innocent. Thought you might want to correct this in case you wish to publish this poem further. Pretty good poem--hope it is not a 'true story' as is sad.
Reply:Very fantastic poem from deep in the heart and soul.This is absolutely one of your poems i love the best.They all are so great though and i agree with caden your a great poet' about the king' but i rather like the Black Knight though.
Reply:Absolutely splendid.
You are a brilliant poet.
deodorant
Help! tell me what ya really think!?
is this good?
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, silent cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced down and looked into the creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the creek as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was frantically running towards the serene and tranquil looking house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I touched the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob… C-l-c-k the door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a second and thought about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started shaking frantically and crying nonstop. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
Help! tell me what ya really think!?
lots of description, but it needs a bit of tidying up, grammar is a bit untidy in places, and jars against the descriptive nature of the earlier section. like this bit:
"A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. "
one sentence you are writing like a writer, the next you are talking like a teenager. Where does the heat come from?
I think it's a good start but it just needs a bit of tidying up...
words like "crying nonstop", "got", "tranquil looking", "shaking frantically" need to be rethought, substitute in some better words.
The piece might work well as a monologue but if you are going to write it, try and lose some of the street talk.
Reply:Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:yes
Reply:ummm interesting
Reply:it's a really good start I think ; I was really hoping to finish reading the closing of it; by the way what did you find inside ?
Reply:it's ok, but nothing amazing. I don't really like the adjectives you use, it's as if you are trying too hard to paint a vivid image, but it just makes for clumsy writing. Avoid ambiguity, vary sentence length, and try to develop a distinct flow as each sentence leads into the next. Read what you write out loud, because if it feels natural when you say it, it will feel natural when you read it.
Reply:yea, its awesome.
Reply:its pretty good!
Reply:WOW%26lt;33
Reply:It's pretty good.
Reply:Have you ever seen the exact question appear in P%26amp;S 4 times ( or more ) in a row?
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, silent cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced down and looked into the creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the creek as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was frantically running towards the serene and tranquil looking house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I touched the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob… C-l-c-k the door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a second and thought about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started shaking frantically and crying nonstop. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
Help! tell me what ya really think!?
lots of description, but it needs a bit of tidying up, grammar is a bit untidy in places, and jars against the descriptive nature of the earlier section. like this bit:
"A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. "
one sentence you are writing like a writer, the next you are talking like a teenager. Where does the heat come from?
I think it's a good start but it just needs a bit of tidying up...
words like "crying nonstop", "got", "tranquil looking", "shaking frantically" need to be rethought, substitute in some better words.
The piece might work well as a monologue but if you are going to write it, try and lose some of the street talk.
Reply:Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:yes
Reply:ummm interesting
Reply:it's a really good start I think ; I was really hoping to finish reading the closing of it; by the way what did you find inside ?
Reply:it's ok, but nothing amazing. I don't really like the adjectives you use, it's as if you are trying too hard to paint a vivid image, but it just makes for clumsy writing. Avoid ambiguity, vary sentence length, and try to develop a distinct flow as each sentence leads into the next. Read what you write out loud, because if it feels natural when you say it, it will feel natural when you read it.
Reply:yea, its awesome.
Reply:its pretty good!
Reply:WOW%26lt;33
Reply:It's pretty good.
Reply:Have you ever seen the exact question appear in P%26amp;S 4 times ( or more ) in a row?
Can anyone help me?!?
Can anyone tell me if this is a good begging for an english horror story?!
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, hushed cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced downward and looked into a creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the stream as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was recklessly running towards what seemed to be a tranquil and serene house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I tapped the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob…C-L-I-C-K! The door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a moment and pondered about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started quivering and weeping uncontrollably. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back cheerful memories. Ones of sitting on a prickly, warmed log in front of a campfire, and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
Can anyone help me?!?
i love it!!! dude thats good, seriosly id love to read the whole thing.. good luck
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, hushed cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced downward and looked into a creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the stream as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was recklessly running towards what seemed to be a tranquil and serene house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I tapped the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob…C-L-I-C-K! The door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a moment and pondered about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started quivering and weeping uncontrollably. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back cheerful memories. Ones of sitting on a prickly, warmed log in front of a campfire, and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
Can anyone help me?!?
i love it!!! dude thats good, seriosly id love to read the whole thing.. good luck
Sunburn. Feedback, please :]?
SUNBURN
You burn us.
Our tender skin swells and reddens, bloated with your shine,
while you dance firey hoops around us and beckon us
to jump through.
We jump; you burn.
And yet sometimes you nurture, dangling bright fingers down to us
to whisk away stale snow and parched clouds.
We worship you then, with knees folded and lips at your feet,
as you breathe blistering flames on our backs.
You blind us, but we don’t look away.
You burn us, but we bask in your light.
Because you are the center of our universe,
and we surround you, mystified,
squinting at your seductive radiance.
You blaze love into our faces,
brand your rays onto our chests.
And you’ve given us our own sparks, miniscule flickers smoldering
just under our charred skins.
They grow;
you feed them, oblivious.
We wait patiently for the day when you’re consumed by chill,
when you begin to shiver and your gleam wavers.
The day the universe sucks you in,
shredding you into a faded, dead star,
while we revel in glorious
Sunburn. Feedback, please :]?
I Love it! Very creative and different. I love the sun and know that with out it all life here would end completly, but your poem is so well writen, it leaves me with a sereal sence of comfort of what the darkness would bring. Thank You, for your words.
Reply:I hate to rain on your parade but I and millions like me will never know what this "sunburn" you speak of either is or feels like. You could say were were born with sun block in our skin.
You burn us.
Our tender skin swells and reddens, bloated with your shine,
while you dance firey hoops around us and beckon us
to jump through.
We jump; you burn.
And yet sometimes you nurture, dangling bright fingers down to us
to whisk away stale snow and parched clouds.
We worship you then, with knees folded and lips at your feet,
as you breathe blistering flames on our backs.
You blind us, but we don’t look away.
You burn us, but we bask in your light.
Because you are the center of our universe,
and we surround you, mystified,
squinting at your seductive radiance.
You blaze love into our faces,
brand your rays onto our chests.
And you’ve given us our own sparks, miniscule flickers smoldering
just under our charred skins.
They grow;
you feed them, oblivious.
We wait patiently for the day when you’re consumed by chill,
when you begin to shiver and your gleam wavers.
The day the universe sucks you in,
shredding you into a faded, dead star,
while we revel in glorious
Sunburn. Feedback, please :]?
I Love it! Very creative and different. I love the sun and know that with out it all life here would end completly, but your poem is so well writen, it leaves me with a sereal sence of comfort of what the darkness would bring. Thank You, for your words.
Reply:I hate to rain on your parade but I and millions like me will never know what this "sunburn" you speak of either is or feels like. You could say were were born with sun block in our skin.
Rate my pokemon pearl team?
Here they are:
Lvl 100 Blaziken
Brave Bird
Flare Blitz
Blaze Kick
Sky Uppercut
Lvl 100 Swampert
Mud Bomb
Muddy Water
Blizzard
Earthquake
Lvl 95 Leafeon
Leaf Blade
Return
Quick Attack
Solar Beam
Lvl 100 Rhyperior
Rock Blast
Earthquake
Horn Drill
Stone Edge
Lvl 100 Raichu
Thuderbolt
Return
Mega Kick
Thunder
Lvl 100 Dragonite
Outrage
Dragon Rush
Flamethrower
Surf
I'm thinking about replacing Raichu with a different Electric (and maybe another type as well, like a thunder/ground for example) pokemon. What would you reccomend? Are there any other pokemon you would reccomend replacing? Should I ditch certain moves and replace them with better ones? Thanks!
NOTE: I give 5 star ratings!
Rate my pokemon pearl team?
5 star 100%
Reply:it is a very good team but not as mine
Vagabond Inn Merced
Lvl 100 Blaziken
Brave Bird
Flare Blitz
Blaze Kick
Sky Uppercut
Lvl 100 Swampert
Mud Bomb
Muddy Water
Blizzard
Earthquake
Lvl 95 Leafeon
Leaf Blade
Return
Quick Attack
Solar Beam
Lvl 100 Rhyperior
Rock Blast
Earthquake
Horn Drill
Stone Edge
Lvl 100 Raichu
Thuderbolt
Return
Mega Kick
Thunder
Lvl 100 Dragonite
Outrage
Dragon Rush
Flamethrower
Surf
I'm thinking about replacing Raichu with a different Electric (and maybe another type as well, like a thunder/ground for example) pokemon. What would you reccomend? Are there any other pokemon you would reccomend replacing? Should I ditch certain moves and replace them with better ones? Thanks!
NOTE: I give 5 star ratings!
Rate my pokemon pearl team?
5 star 100%
Reply:it is a very good team but not as mine
Vagabond Inn Merced
Suggestions for my pokemon team?
Here they are:
Lvl 100 Blaziken
Brave Bird
Flare Blitz
Blaze Kick
Sky Uppercut
Lvl 100 Swampert
Mud Bomb
Muddy Water
Blizzard
Earthquake
Lvl 95 Leafeon
Leaf Blade
Return
Quick Attack
Solar Beam
Lvl 100 Rhyperior
Rock Blast
Earthquake
Horn Drill
Stone Edge
Lvl 100 Raichu
Thuderbolt
Return
Mega Kick
Thunder
Lvl 100 Dragonite
Outrage
Dragon Rush
Flamethrower
Surf
I'm thinking about replacing Raichu with a different Electric (and maybe another type as well, like a thunder/ground for example) pokemon. What would you reccomend? Are there any other pokemon you would reccomend replacing? Should I ditch certain moves and replace them with better ones? Thanks!
NOTE: I give 5 star ratings!
Suggestions for my pokemon team?
Blaziken- I wouldn't change anything
Swampert- I would reconsider on attacks take out muddy water and put in hydro pump. (train mudkip to lv 42)
Leafeon- Take out quick attack for a stronger attack like hyper beam
Rhyperior- Switch rock blast for hyper beam and give it some pp ups
Raichu- I would give it mega punch instead of mega kick and volt tackle instead of thunder bolt. (srry i can't think of an electric/ground). If you change it get a metagross or salamence. Metagross with meteor mash, metal claw, hyper beam, and psychic at lv 100. Salamence with dragon claw, hyper beam, fly, and crunch lv 100.
Dragonite- Very good you shouldn't change it.
I would say a great party just some moves to change and try getting every pokemon to lv 100. (lol i have a craze about hyper beam)
Reply:hmm...... maybe replace leafon's quick attack with toxic
Reply:I would probably reconsider some of your Dragonites move, I have a Salamance which can take out 4 of your pokemon single handed. I also have Rayqauza, has Fireblast, thunder, and icebeam, how many would that take from you? However, I do like your blaziken, a powerful pokemon there. I guess I see what youre trying to do, but I dunno, there are a lot of pokemon with few weaknesses that can learn a whole lot of variety of attacks (ex: rayquaza).
Lvl 100 Blaziken
Brave Bird
Flare Blitz
Blaze Kick
Sky Uppercut
Lvl 100 Swampert
Mud Bomb
Muddy Water
Blizzard
Earthquake
Lvl 95 Leafeon
Leaf Blade
Return
Quick Attack
Solar Beam
Lvl 100 Rhyperior
Rock Blast
Earthquake
Horn Drill
Stone Edge
Lvl 100 Raichu
Thuderbolt
Return
Mega Kick
Thunder
Lvl 100 Dragonite
Outrage
Dragon Rush
Flamethrower
Surf
I'm thinking about replacing Raichu with a different Electric (and maybe another type as well, like a thunder/ground for example) pokemon. What would you reccomend? Are there any other pokemon you would reccomend replacing? Should I ditch certain moves and replace them with better ones? Thanks!
NOTE: I give 5 star ratings!
Suggestions for my pokemon team?
Blaziken- I wouldn't change anything
Swampert- I would reconsider on attacks take out muddy water and put in hydro pump. (train mudkip to lv 42)
Leafeon- Take out quick attack for a stronger attack like hyper beam
Rhyperior- Switch rock blast for hyper beam and give it some pp ups
Raichu- I would give it mega punch instead of mega kick and volt tackle instead of thunder bolt. (srry i can't think of an electric/ground). If you change it get a metagross or salamence. Metagross with meteor mash, metal claw, hyper beam, and psychic at lv 100. Salamence with dragon claw, hyper beam, fly, and crunch lv 100.
Dragonite- Very good you shouldn't change it.
I would say a great party just some moves to change and try getting every pokemon to lv 100. (lol i have a craze about hyper beam)
Reply:hmm...... maybe replace leafon's quick attack with toxic
Reply:I would probably reconsider some of your Dragonites move, I have a Salamance which can take out 4 of your pokemon single handed. I also have Rayqauza, has Fireblast, thunder, and icebeam, how many would that take from you? However, I do like your blaziken, a powerful pokemon there. I guess I see what youre trying to do, but I dunno, there are a lot of pokemon with few weaknesses that can learn a whole lot of variety of attacks (ex: rayquaza).
Good or bad beginning of a novel? I'm only 15 so if you see a lot of erros, you know why.?
He gives a final kick to my stomach, sending me two feet across the ground. “If you come back in this house, *****, I’ll beat your face until it’s unrecognizable!” I hear the trailer door slam back, swinging for a bit until clicking in place. Seconds later, my jaw clenches until it hurts. The tears never come. My hands don’t see if there is blood. I know there is. I can taste it in my mouth.
Why? Why does this always happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? I have never disobeyed David when he orders I strip for him. In every way possible, I have done what he wants and yet, he still acts as if it were not enough. What more can I do?
I quit my job just so I could take care of the things around here. David demanded me to be home early from work and I limited back so much that I only went to Lavigne Keys University for only four hours a day when I should have been there for eight. Now I don’t work at the college. I stay in this hellhole just to take care of my two baby sisters. I worry about them, my sisters. I try not to think of them in my position in the future. I would give up my life to prevent them from having a life like mine.
I have, for all my seventeen years of living, been in this hellhole. I clutch my heart under the night sky. Not even the stars light up my way. They seem so far away, so far apart, leaving me to this misery. I manage to get on my knees, my palms holding me above the ground. The ache in my side throbs; I go into a coughing fit, the blood from my busted lip and nose painting the pebbles and rock.
When I hear my sister’s scream, the hairs on my arms and neck stand on end. I jump to my feet, my mind and body suddenly ignoring the pain. I’m surprised I haven’t blacked out like I normally do. I stagger inside the torn down trailer, my jaw clenched. Lorena screams as our father flips the old coffee table, shattering the legs. She huddles deeper in Orlean’s chest with her hands over her head.
“Shut up, you blazing child!” David exclaims, his face red with rage. Lorena has a growing bruise on one arm but Orlean’s lip is bleeding and has a red hand mark on her cheek. I clench my fists, the rage welling up inside me at the sight of the blood. I hate blood. I always have since the incident. I jump on David’s back with a roar. I use all my strength to put him in a headlock. He claws at my arms, slamming me against walls while gagging and screeching. I feel the hot liquid run down my back but I keep my grip on the bastard’s neck. David slumps to his knees and then finally blacks out. I roll off him trying to catch my breath.
I look up at my sisters through black eyes. “Did he hit you?” I pant, limping to them. I crouch down, dropping to my knees, and search their pale, sweaty faces.
“I‘m scared,” Lorena sobs, snot dripping from her nose. I pull them to my chest, shushing them. Orlean’s fist balls up in my shirt, her hand turning white.
“I hate him,” her muffled voice says in my chest. “I hate him so ******* much.”
“I know,” I say, my chest moving so fast I think I might have a heart attack. Orlean always curses. She picked it up from David even though I tell her not to say them.
My mind spews up a few solutions to this chaos. First solution would only bring more problems and I would never see my sisters again. And I doubt I could ever bring myself to murder him, anyone for that fact. Option two is running away, but how many times have I tried that? Calling the police is another, but I have tried that before, too. Going to a home might be a little easier, but the boys aren’t all that nice, if you get the meaning.
I close my eyes and breathe slowly. When David wakes up, God only know what he will do but I get the distinct feeling I’ll end up in the hospital, or dead. And I don’t want either. “Let’s go,” I say, coming to the conclusion of leaving. I don’t know where we will go, but I cannot stand living here anymore, having my sisters in danger 24/7.
Lorena and Orlean look up at me. “Where?” Lorena asks, sniffling.
“Anywhere,” Orlean answers, getting to her feet. “I’ll grab the money.” She races to the back to our parent’s room. David has a stash, and once Orlean stole some to get me the medicine I needed, and she paid for it.
“We can’t take it!” Lorena gasps. “He’ll hurt you again!” Orlean snorts, stuffing the money in my hands and I shove it in my jean pockets.
“It didn’t even hurt.” I know it is a lie. She looks up at me through her long eyelashes. “I think he has enough for a hotel.” I nod and we head out the back door. I’m not taking any chances with the neighbors blabbering that we left to David when we wake up.
As soon as the cold air touches my face, all the times I tried escaping this place comes back to me. I began those runaways when I was nine. The same year Casten died. Lorena never releases her death grip on my hand and Orlean leads the run through the hold and rusty trailers. We come out on the sidewalk and sprint for all we are worth with nothing but the clothes on our backs and the money in my pocket.
I have always hated living in that trailer park. I hate what my life has come out to be. I hate what I do just for David’s friends’ pleasure. No more. I have had enough! I will not be raped again! I will not be beaten again! I will never have to do what that bastard says just because he is too damn lazy to do it himself! I’m out of here, along with my two sisters. From now on, I will be their mother. I will take care of them. No harm will be brought to them unless I am on my back. Dead.
Good or bad beginning of a novel? I'm only 15 so if you see a lot of erros, you know why.?
i like it ,i hope you'll keep on posting the rest :)
Reply:Good. Its a good start. If you think it needs to be revised you can always finish the writing and read over it to a better beginning that fits the story more from beginning to end.
Reply:Awesome work!
The start somehow evokes The Catcher in the Rye , which is a very interesting and fun novel!
Have you read it?
Keep up the great work!
You've got a talent for this!!!
Reply:good!!!! keep on writing!!!!
Reply:Very good for your age.
Reply:Wow, are you sure you're only 15? Your writing style is incredible! Very descriptive, very emotive...I'd say you definitely have something here. Keep working at it!
Why? Why does this always happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? I have never disobeyed David when he orders I strip for him. In every way possible, I have done what he wants and yet, he still acts as if it were not enough. What more can I do?
I quit my job just so I could take care of the things around here. David demanded me to be home early from work and I limited back so much that I only went to Lavigne Keys University for only four hours a day when I should have been there for eight. Now I don’t work at the college. I stay in this hellhole just to take care of my two baby sisters. I worry about them, my sisters. I try not to think of them in my position in the future. I would give up my life to prevent them from having a life like mine.
I have, for all my seventeen years of living, been in this hellhole. I clutch my heart under the night sky. Not even the stars light up my way. They seem so far away, so far apart, leaving me to this misery. I manage to get on my knees, my palms holding me above the ground. The ache in my side throbs; I go into a coughing fit, the blood from my busted lip and nose painting the pebbles and rock.
When I hear my sister’s scream, the hairs on my arms and neck stand on end. I jump to my feet, my mind and body suddenly ignoring the pain. I’m surprised I haven’t blacked out like I normally do. I stagger inside the torn down trailer, my jaw clenched. Lorena screams as our father flips the old coffee table, shattering the legs. She huddles deeper in Orlean’s chest with her hands over her head.
“Shut up, you blazing child!” David exclaims, his face red with rage. Lorena has a growing bruise on one arm but Orlean’s lip is bleeding and has a red hand mark on her cheek. I clench my fists, the rage welling up inside me at the sight of the blood. I hate blood. I always have since the incident. I jump on David’s back with a roar. I use all my strength to put him in a headlock. He claws at my arms, slamming me against walls while gagging and screeching. I feel the hot liquid run down my back but I keep my grip on the bastard’s neck. David slumps to his knees and then finally blacks out. I roll off him trying to catch my breath.
I look up at my sisters through black eyes. “Did he hit you?” I pant, limping to them. I crouch down, dropping to my knees, and search their pale, sweaty faces.
“I‘m scared,” Lorena sobs, snot dripping from her nose. I pull them to my chest, shushing them. Orlean’s fist balls up in my shirt, her hand turning white.
“I hate him,” her muffled voice says in my chest. “I hate him so ******* much.”
“I know,” I say, my chest moving so fast I think I might have a heart attack. Orlean always curses. She picked it up from David even though I tell her not to say them.
My mind spews up a few solutions to this chaos. First solution would only bring more problems and I would never see my sisters again. And I doubt I could ever bring myself to murder him, anyone for that fact. Option two is running away, but how many times have I tried that? Calling the police is another, but I have tried that before, too. Going to a home might be a little easier, but the boys aren’t all that nice, if you get the meaning.
I close my eyes and breathe slowly. When David wakes up, God only know what he will do but I get the distinct feeling I’ll end up in the hospital, or dead. And I don’t want either. “Let’s go,” I say, coming to the conclusion of leaving. I don’t know where we will go, but I cannot stand living here anymore, having my sisters in danger 24/7.
Lorena and Orlean look up at me. “Where?” Lorena asks, sniffling.
“Anywhere,” Orlean answers, getting to her feet. “I’ll grab the money.” She races to the back to our parent’s room. David has a stash, and once Orlean stole some to get me the medicine I needed, and she paid for it.
“We can’t take it!” Lorena gasps. “He’ll hurt you again!” Orlean snorts, stuffing the money in my hands and I shove it in my jean pockets.
“It didn’t even hurt.” I know it is a lie. She looks up at me through her long eyelashes. “I think he has enough for a hotel.” I nod and we head out the back door. I’m not taking any chances with the neighbors blabbering that we left to David when we wake up.
As soon as the cold air touches my face, all the times I tried escaping this place comes back to me. I began those runaways when I was nine. The same year Casten died. Lorena never releases her death grip on my hand and Orlean leads the run through the hold and rusty trailers. We come out on the sidewalk and sprint for all we are worth with nothing but the clothes on our backs and the money in my pocket.
I have always hated living in that trailer park. I hate what my life has come out to be. I hate what I do just for David’s friends’ pleasure. No more. I have had enough! I will not be raped again! I will not be beaten again! I will never have to do what that bastard says just because he is too damn lazy to do it himself! I’m out of here, along with my two sisters. From now on, I will be their mother. I will take care of them. No harm will be brought to them unless I am on my back. Dead.
Good or bad beginning of a novel? I'm only 15 so if you see a lot of erros, you know why.?
i like it ,i hope you'll keep on posting the rest :)
Reply:Good. Its a good start. If you think it needs to be revised you can always finish the writing and read over it to a better beginning that fits the story more from beginning to end.
Reply:Awesome work!
The start somehow evokes The Catcher in the Rye , which is a very interesting and fun novel!
Have you read it?
Keep up the great work!
You've got a talent for this!!!
Reply:good!!!! keep on writing!!!!
Reply:Very good for your age.
Reply:Wow, are you sure you're only 15? Your writing style is incredible! Very descriptive, very emotive...I'd say you definitely have something here. Keep working at it!
Who is described as; Head hair is white as snow,EYEs blazeing like fire?
12I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, 13and among the lampstands was someone "like a son of man,"[b]dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. 14His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. 15His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. 16In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.
17When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
Who is described as; Head hair is white as snow,EYEs blazeing like fire?
I think you are talking about Jesus. All white because He is shining.
Reply:An albino jesus
Reply:JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Son of God!
Our Lord And Saviour, My Father!
Reply:Jesus in Revelation. Maybe this is really what He looked like but the feature descibed here are very symbolic.
Reply:The resurrected, glorified Jesus Christ!
17When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
Who is described as; Head hair is white as snow,EYEs blazeing like fire?
I think you are talking about Jesus. All white because He is shining.
Reply:An albino jesus
Reply:JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Son of God!
Our Lord And Saviour, My Father!
Reply:Jesus in Revelation. Maybe this is really what He looked like but the feature descibed here are very symbolic.
Reply:The resurrected, glorified Jesus Christ!
The Song Of A Lover...A LOVE POEM.....Do you like it?
THE SONG OF A LOVER By Jay, "The Silver Bells"
My love for you may seem so strange
But it is true and will not change
There may be days when you could meet
The high-held stars upon thy feet
And there may come another day
When red red rose shall turn all grey
The blazing sun shall lose his heat
And waxing moon shall lose her seat
All that was fair may shape to foul
The fairy doves shall start to howl
But dear my love, though seems so strange
Is true by heart and will not change
There may befall a time for thee
To watch ten mountains on a sea
And serpents that had crept on land
May take few legs enough to stand
The cuckoo, robin, lark and all
With broken wings to earth may fall
The tigers that had lambs to please
May repent and may plea for peace
And all the streams that ran from west
May cease a while and look for rest
But dear, my love though seems so strange
Is true by blood and will not change
But you may say that these are lies
Love fast is born and fast it dies
There is no heart that yet is true
Struck not by jealousies are few
With time that flees and flees apace
All men shall dress with new a face
But dear when all my time shall pass
And I shall have a bed on grass
O come and meet me at my grave
There shall be daisies where you rave
They bloom where they had buried me
And they all blossom but for thee
For dear, my love though seems so strange
Is true by soul and will not change
The Song Of A Lover...A LOVE POEM.....Do you like it?
It is a beautiful and heartfelt poem.
She is very lucky to have such love, and you to feel this love.
Nice work:)
Reply:A beautiful, musical song/poem illustrating that love is eternal. It is not true that "Love fast is born and fast it dies," for there are those who can love until their bed is "on grass."
I admire all your poetry, no matter the theme, meter, or rhyme scheme. All of it seems perfect to me.
Reply:Jay, you should tell them where you live and which languages you speak. It will make them cry when they find that English is a second language for you. TD
Reply:Amazing, Jay. Absolutely amazing.
Reply:Well done. My compliments.
Reply:Yes. It sounds and looks perfect.
Reply:Pity we are only able to award one star.
I'd give you a Galaxy.
Reply:I like this, and tried it to several tunes I know. It fits well on an old confederate marching song of the civil war.
When Johnny Comes Marching Home.
I tried it to a boogie beat, and it fit the music, but just didn't seem quite right as a match to the subject.
Reply:Are you sure you aren't the reincarnation of one W.Shakespeare? It sounds very like him to me, or as he would write if he were to walk the earth to-day.
It its good to read a well-crafted verse such as this, maybe we would-be poets and seasoned poets could try to follow in your footsteps.
No promises, but I'm going to have a damn good try.
Well done,
Reply:Its not often I say this, but this is an amazing poem. I think it's the best I have read on Yahoo answers. You have a gift!
One tiny criticism, what do you mean by "there shall be daisies where you rave?". Where i come from rave means hardcore partying! Or to "rant and rave" which is comparable to some form of hysterics I guess, but I think contextually that line could be slightly tweaked.
Apart from that, the meter, rhyme and imagery are all very powerful and full of real emotion.
Really beautiful.
Hope that helps.
car loan
My love for you may seem so strange
But it is true and will not change
There may be days when you could meet
The high-held stars upon thy feet
And there may come another day
When red red rose shall turn all grey
The blazing sun shall lose his heat
And waxing moon shall lose her seat
All that was fair may shape to foul
The fairy doves shall start to howl
But dear my love, though seems so strange
Is true by heart and will not change
There may befall a time for thee
To watch ten mountains on a sea
And serpents that had crept on land
May take few legs enough to stand
The cuckoo, robin, lark and all
With broken wings to earth may fall
The tigers that had lambs to please
May repent and may plea for peace
And all the streams that ran from west
May cease a while and look for rest
But dear, my love though seems so strange
Is true by blood and will not change
But you may say that these are lies
Love fast is born and fast it dies
There is no heart that yet is true
Struck not by jealousies are few
With time that flees and flees apace
All men shall dress with new a face
But dear when all my time shall pass
And I shall have a bed on grass
O come and meet me at my grave
There shall be daisies where you rave
They bloom where they had buried me
And they all blossom but for thee
For dear, my love though seems so strange
Is true by soul and will not change
The Song Of A Lover...A LOVE POEM.....Do you like it?
It is a beautiful and heartfelt poem.
She is very lucky to have such love, and you to feel this love.
Nice work:)
Reply:A beautiful, musical song/poem illustrating that love is eternal. It is not true that "Love fast is born and fast it dies," for there are those who can love until their bed is "on grass."
I admire all your poetry, no matter the theme, meter, or rhyme scheme. All of it seems perfect to me.
Reply:Jay, you should tell them where you live and which languages you speak. It will make them cry when they find that English is a second language for you. TD
Reply:Amazing, Jay. Absolutely amazing.
Reply:Well done. My compliments.
Reply:Yes. It sounds and looks perfect.
Reply:Pity we are only able to award one star.
I'd give you a Galaxy.
Reply:I like this, and tried it to several tunes I know. It fits well on an old confederate marching song of the civil war.
When Johnny Comes Marching Home.
I tried it to a boogie beat, and it fit the music, but just didn't seem quite right as a match to the subject.
Reply:Are you sure you aren't the reincarnation of one W.Shakespeare? It sounds very like him to me, or as he would write if he were to walk the earth to-day.
It its good to read a well-crafted verse such as this, maybe we would-be poets and seasoned poets could try to follow in your footsteps.
No promises, but I'm going to have a damn good try.
Well done,
Reply:Its not often I say this, but this is an amazing poem. I think it's the best I have read on Yahoo answers. You have a gift!
One tiny criticism, what do you mean by "there shall be daisies where you rave?". Where i come from rave means hardcore partying! Or to "rant and rave" which is comparable to some form of hysterics I guess, but I think contextually that line could be slightly tweaked.
Apart from that, the meter, rhyme and imagery are all very powerful and full of real emotion.
Really beautiful.
Hope that helps.
car loan
Poem-colors?
Colors are like people
There's more than meets the eye
No two are quite the same
It's own rhythm each lives by
Red a blazing fire
Or Juicy apples in July
Mobs on overcast days
A newborn babe's first cry
Orange a spark of hope
A simple act of gratitude
The fresh scent of peeled fruit
Fish with a gleeful attitude
Yellow is the sun's energy
The happiness of two friend
Warmth a smile always brings
Daffodils in summer winds
Green is life born anew
A tree so proud and tall
A young deer grazing peacefully
Soft rain finishing it's fall
Blue is a gurgling stream
Birds soaring in a cloudless sky
The peace endless oceans bring
A tear that will not dry
Purple an ultraviolet light
Twinkling stars where bats fly
A bruise from a clumsy stumble
Violets swaying under a gorgeous sky
Our differences may seem grand
Yet we're all important in life's game
For what would a rainbow be
If each color were the same?
Poem-colors?
The last line of the first verse is awkward because it is back to front in order to get the rhyme with 'eye'
How about this instead
Colours are like people
No two are quite the same
With each there's more than meets the eye
Each has a different aim.
Red is
Orange is
What does 'mobs on overcast days' mean? Is it some American thing I wouldn't recognise?
I love the Orange verse
- a fish with gleeful attitude (great image)
Soft rain ceasing to fall. (???) yours is too long
two friends
I think the thing I am trying to say here is - just take time to read your poem aloud, hear where it is a bit clumsy, or where the rhythm fails, make small adjustments and the end product will be something to be proud of.
You have clearly worked hard on this poem and in many ways you have succeeded in what you set out to do.
Well done.
Reply:cool
i love your decriptions and imagery
its so original
Reply:!!!!
There's more than meets the eye
No two are quite the same
It's own rhythm each lives by
Red a blazing fire
Or Juicy apples in July
Mobs on overcast days
A newborn babe's first cry
Orange a spark of hope
A simple act of gratitude
The fresh scent of peeled fruit
Fish with a gleeful attitude
Yellow is the sun's energy
The happiness of two friend
Warmth a smile always brings
Daffodils in summer winds
Green is life born anew
A tree so proud and tall
A young deer grazing peacefully
Soft rain finishing it's fall
Blue is a gurgling stream
Birds soaring in a cloudless sky
The peace endless oceans bring
A tear that will not dry
Purple an ultraviolet light
Twinkling stars where bats fly
A bruise from a clumsy stumble
Violets swaying under a gorgeous sky
Our differences may seem grand
Yet we're all important in life's game
For what would a rainbow be
If each color were the same?
Poem-colors?
The last line of the first verse is awkward because it is back to front in order to get the rhyme with 'eye'
How about this instead
Colours are like people
No two are quite the same
With each there's more than meets the eye
Each has a different aim.
Red is
Orange is
What does 'mobs on overcast days' mean? Is it some American thing I wouldn't recognise?
I love the Orange verse
- a fish with gleeful attitude (great image)
Soft rain ceasing to fall. (???) yours is too long
two friends
I think the thing I am trying to say here is - just take time to read your poem aloud, hear where it is a bit clumsy, or where the rhythm fails, make small adjustments and the end product will be something to be proud of.
You have clearly worked hard on this poem and in many ways you have succeeded in what you set out to do.
Well done.
Reply:cool
i love your decriptions and imagery
its so original
Reply:!!!!
Hi People Rate my deck please Monsters: Yata-Garasu, Hysteric Fairy x2, Drillago, Man-Eating Bug, Hane-Hane?
Zombyra the Dark x2
Armed Ninja, Familliar-Possessed-Wynn
Blazing Inapachi x2, Familliar-Possessed-Hiita
Mystical Elf, Island Turtle
Magician of Faith, Crimson Ninja
Masked of Darkness
4-Starred Ladybug of Doom
Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Bazoo the Soul-Eater
Dark Magician Knight, Chaos Command Magician, Swift Gaia the Fierce Knight
Command Knight, Dark Magician, Lava Golem
Black Luster Soldier-Envoy of the Beggining
Relinquished, Black Luster Soldier
Spell: Harpies Feather Duster, Ring of Magnetism, Gravekeeper's Servant, Dian Keto the Cure Maid x3, Axe of Despair x2, Pot of Greed x2, Ookazi x2, Chain energy, Salamandra
Knight's Title, the Dark Door, Change of Heart, Mystical space Typhoon, Malevolent Nuzzler
Goblin Theif, Exchange, Black Illusion Ritual
Fissure, Blask Luster Ritual, Monster Reborn
Trap: Spellbinding Circle, Reinforcements, Skill Drain, Trap Hole, Bottomless Trap Hole
Magical Hats, Fake Trap, Just Desserts,
Magic Jamer, Neddle Ceiling, Magic Cylinder
Hi People Rate my deck please Monsters: Yata-Garasu, Hysteric Fairy x2, Drillago, Man-Eating Bug, Hane-Hane?
okay this deck is completely random...theres no specific strategy plus alot of the cards you're using are forbidden so you couldn't use this in a tourney. stick with one strategy/deck build like a burn deck, monarch, gadget (like i use), or maybe even zombie deck. i would have to give this deck 3/10 so sorry.
Reply:Wrong category, man. This goes under Games and Recreation.
Oopsie...
Reply:best zoology question EVER!!
Armed Ninja, Familliar-Possessed-Wynn
Blazing Inapachi x2, Familliar-Possessed-Hiita
Mystical Elf, Island Turtle
Magician of Faith, Crimson Ninja
Masked of Darkness
4-Starred Ladybug of Doom
Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Bazoo the Soul-Eater
Dark Magician Knight, Chaos Command Magician, Swift Gaia the Fierce Knight
Command Knight, Dark Magician, Lava Golem
Black Luster Soldier-Envoy of the Beggining
Relinquished, Black Luster Soldier
Spell: Harpies Feather Duster, Ring of Magnetism, Gravekeeper's Servant, Dian Keto the Cure Maid x3, Axe of Despair x2, Pot of Greed x2, Ookazi x2, Chain energy, Salamandra
Knight's Title, the Dark Door, Change of Heart, Mystical space Typhoon, Malevolent Nuzzler
Goblin Theif, Exchange, Black Illusion Ritual
Fissure, Blask Luster Ritual, Monster Reborn
Trap: Spellbinding Circle, Reinforcements, Skill Drain, Trap Hole, Bottomless Trap Hole
Magical Hats, Fake Trap, Just Desserts,
Magic Jamer, Neddle Ceiling, Magic Cylinder
Hi People Rate my deck please Monsters: Yata-Garasu, Hysteric Fairy x2, Drillago, Man-Eating Bug, Hane-Hane?
okay this deck is completely random...theres no specific strategy plus alot of the cards you're using are forbidden so you couldn't use this in a tourney. stick with one strategy/deck build like a burn deck, monarch, gadget (like i use), or maybe even zombie deck. i would have to give this deck 3/10 so sorry.
Reply:Wrong category, man. This goes under Games and Recreation.
Oopsie...
Reply:best zoology question EVER!!
Who's head +hair is White as snow? Eyes like blazeing fire?Feet glowing bronze?
Revelations 1
13and among the lampstands was someone "like a son of man,"[b]dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. 14His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. 15His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. 16In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.
17When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
Who's head +hair is White as snow? Eyes like blazeing fire?Feet glowing bronze?
New American Standard Bible
"And to the angel of the church in Thyatira write: The Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire, and His feet are like burnished bronze, says this:
Reply:I believe this is Christ all thru is walk on earth he called himself the son of man also is God right hand aka the hand of Judgment
Reply:An Albanian person.
Reply:It must be Chuck Norris!!!!!
Reply:See, you're not asking questions - you're throwing your holy text at us.
Bad , bad theist.
Did you know that there is a difference between your beliefs and the objective truth?
Did you know that not knowing this makes christians seem incredibly unintelligent and narrow minded?
Did you know that your jesus never existed, and his character is a knock-off of earlier, cooler gods?
http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/jesus_simi...
http://www.medmalexperts.com/POCM/gettin...
http://www.geocities.com/paulntobin/jesu...
http://nobeliefs.com/exist.htm
http://www.inu.net/skeptic/exist.html
http://www.atheists.org/christianity/did...
http://www.jesusneverexisted.com/
Did you know that the bible is a pretty horrible book?
http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/
http://www.evilbible.com/
Reply:Jesus Christ back to His permanent creator glory. It's beautiful how He touched his best friend on while on earth (John) and told him not to be afraid.
Reply:i dont get this
Reply:Definitely Jesus
Reply:Jesus
13and among the lampstands was someone "like a son of man,"[b]dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. 14His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. 15His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. 16In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.
17When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. 18I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
Who's head +hair is White as snow? Eyes like blazeing fire?Feet glowing bronze?
New American Standard Bible
"And to the angel of the church in Thyatira write: The Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire, and His feet are like burnished bronze, says this:
Reply:I believe this is Christ all thru is walk on earth he called himself the son of man also is God right hand aka the hand of Judgment
Reply:An Albanian person.
Reply:It must be Chuck Norris!!!!!
Reply:See, you're not asking questions - you're throwing your holy text at us.
Bad , bad theist.
Did you know that there is a difference between your beliefs and the objective truth?
Did you know that not knowing this makes christians seem incredibly unintelligent and narrow minded?
Did you know that your jesus never existed, and his character is a knock-off of earlier, cooler gods?
http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/jesus_simi...
http://www.medmalexperts.com/POCM/gettin...
http://www.geocities.com/paulntobin/jesu...
http://nobeliefs.com/exist.htm
http://www.inu.net/skeptic/exist.html
http://www.atheists.org/christianity/did...
http://www.jesusneverexisted.com/
Did you know that the bible is a pretty horrible book?
http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/
http://www.evilbible.com/
Reply:Jesus Christ back to His permanent creator glory. It's beautiful how He touched his best friend on while on earth (John) and told him not to be afraid.
Reply:i dont get this
Reply:Definitely Jesus
Reply:Jesus
OKay, i need your honest opinion! do u like my almost story?
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, silent cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced down and looked into the creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the creek as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was frantically running towards the serene and tranquil looking house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I touched the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob… C-l-c-k the door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a second and thought about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started shaking frantically and crying nonstop. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
OKay, i need your honest opinion! do u like my almost story?
i think its really really good(even if it isnt for something) if this is like a story composition or something i pretty sure ur the only 1 whos going 2 get an A+
Reply:lots of description, but it needs a bit of tidying up, grammar is a bit untidy in places, and jars against the descriptive nature of the earlier section. like this bit:
"A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. "
one sentence you are writing like a writer, the next you are talking like a teenager. Where does the heat come from?
I think it's a good start but it just needs a bit of tidying up...
words like "crying nonstop", "got", "tranquil looking", "shaking frantically" need to be rethought, substitute in some better words.
The piece might work well as a monologue but if you are going to write it, try and lose some of the street talk.
Reply:Nope...Many many errors..
scooter
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was frantically running towards the serene and tranquil looking house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I touched the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob… C-l-c-k the door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a second and thought about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started shaking frantically and crying nonstop. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
OKay, i need your honest opinion! do u like my almost story?
i think its really really good(even if it isnt for something) if this is like a story composition or something i pretty sure ur the only 1 whos going 2 get an A+
Reply:lots of description, but it needs a bit of tidying up, grammar is a bit untidy in places, and jars against the descriptive nature of the earlier section. like this bit:
"A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. "
one sentence you are writing like a writer, the next you are talking like a teenager. Where does the heat come from?
I think it's a good start but it just needs a bit of tidying up...
words like "crying nonstop", "got", "tranquil looking", "shaking frantically" need to be rethought, substitute in some better words.
The piece might work well as a monologue but if you are going to write it, try and lose some of the street talk.
Reply:Nope...Many many errors..
scooter
What do you think so far ??
I have to write a "perfect paragraph" for english heres mine so far:
The calm, pure blue sea water glistened in the dim, orange light of the sunset. Waves almost silently falling into the smooth, gold sand. Deckchairs scattered randomly across the beach like stars in the Summer night sky. The beach seemed deserted. Apart from one small group in the distance, sitting happily around a blazing bonfire, as content as ?? singing merrily together. But there was one more person on the beach
Haven't finished, any ideas of what to put next? And also where i wrote the question marks i dont know what to write there
Thanks!!!!
What do you think so far ??
Way too many adjectives. I was the same way when I was young, I thought throwing a bunch of adjectives in my prose made it better but it doesn't. Take out a few (if not all) of those and you'll have a stronger paragraph. I don't know how old you are, but you write better than 99% of the buffoons in yahoo answers!
Reply:There is no such thing as a perfect paragraph- u can edit it over and over and over.
"Deckchairs scattered randomly across the beach like stars in the Summer night sky." I don't really get this sentence. If it is a calm night, then how come chairs are being pushed by a force?
"The beach seemed deserted." You can remove 'seemed' from this sentence and replace it with something else. (it either was or wasn't :) )
I get lost when you said half of the last sentence- make it all flow.
In your para. you could include:
-scent
-sand
- infinite stary sky
-low tide
- something to do with the cyan crystal waves crashing against the shore, forming foamy wave-curletts along the shore-line
-maybe the reflection of the moon
Hope this helps some! :)
Reply:I like that a lot. Its detailed. And it describes so well.... I can picture it in my mind. Its perfect, you sound like a true poet!!!
As content as...as...um...(lol)
As content as a bluebird in its nest
As content as a child in its parents' arms
As content as a fish in the water
I dunno what to suggest for the rest, but you'll get eventually
Good Luck!
Reply:awesome!ur reely good! i could see the things u were describing!
as content as a mother playing with their child
maybe somethin like that.
to continue u could describe how this person did not fit in with the rest(describe the clothes and behavior)
at the end u could say how this person is compared to the people in life who are not afraid to b themselves or somethin like that.
i hope this helps and thnks for askin a Q that wasnt 'do mi hmwrk!'
best of luck!let me no wat u decide to do!
The calm, pure blue sea water glistened in the dim, orange light of the sunset. Waves almost silently falling into the smooth, gold sand. Deckchairs scattered randomly across the beach like stars in the Summer night sky. The beach seemed deserted. Apart from one small group in the distance, sitting happily around a blazing bonfire, as content as ?? singing merrily together. But there was one more person on the beach
Haven't finished, any ideas of what to put next? And also where i wrote the question marks i dont know what to write there
Thanks!!!!
What do you think so far ??
Way too many adjectives. I was the same way when I was young, I thought throwing a bunch of adjectives in my prose made it better but it doesn't. Take out a few (if not all) of those and you'll have a stronger paragraph. I don't know how old you are, but you write better than 99% of the buffoons in yahoo answers!
Reply:There is no such thing as a perfect paragraph- u can edit it over and over and over.
"Deckchairs scattered randomly across the beach like stars in the Summer night sky." I don't really get this sentence. If it is a calm night, then how come chairs are being pushed by a force?
"The beach seemed deserted." You can remove 'seemed' from this sentence and replace it with something else. (it either was or wasn't :) )
I get lost when you said half of the last sentence- make it all flow.
In your para. you could include:
-scent
-sand
- infinite stary sky
-low tide
- something to do with the cyan crystal waves crashing against the shore, forming foamy wave-curletts along the shore-line
-maybe the reflection of the moon
Hope this helps some! :)
Reply:I like that a lot. Its detailed. And it describes so well.... I can picture it in my mind. Its perfect, you sound like a true poet!!!
As content as...as...um...(lol)
As content as a bluebird in its nest
As content as a child in its parents' arms
As content as a fish in the water
I dunno what to suggest for the rest, but you'll get eventually
Good Luck!
Reply:awesome!ur reely good! i could see the things u were describing!
as content as a mother playing with their child
maybe somethin like that.
to continue u could describe how this person did not fit in with the rest(describe the clothes and behavior)
at the end u could say how this person is compared to the people in life who are not afraid to b themselves or somethin like that.
i hope this helps and thnks for askin a Q that wasnt 'do mi hmwrk!'
best of luck!let me no wat u decide to do!
Charlotte.......?
Charlotte, oh charlotte
I hear the wind whisper your name
All the heartache I went through
A time when all our dreams would come true
A time when all we had was innocents
You are safe now on the other side
I told you I would hold on I would be strong
Well that was the first time I lied
The time is right my stars are aligned
Not thinking of all the things I will leave behind
Feeling the rope around my neck
I can since you are near
But the whispers of your name is all I hear
For some reason I stop
I see the blazing fire
I see your smile as it takes me higher
I remember when you got sick
My depression that I could not kick
The thing that I really miss
Would be your sweet kiss
I will go on alone
This much I know
Ever since you left long ago
Charlotte, oh charlotte
Charlotte.......?
AAAAhhhhHHH , what can i say, i felt the feeling you want to show.. it's really great, i felt the feeling i felt your dark world, i felt when she went to the safe side and you alone in this lonesome burning hell in you.. the rope is getting tighter and tighter.. cause no one or nothing can loose it for you..
dear Black knight though its a fiction but the writers feelings allways shows.. you are allways tied down by your feeling.. lingered by your pain.. TBK my friend i know you hate to be told this but.. you have to start moving on.. as days goes by your body gets older but your soul is there.. bull it out..
but one line in the whole poem is what i hated.. "I told you I would hold on I would be strong
Well that was the first time I lied " to me whateva happened you've been strong till the end now that charlotte is gone you kept your promise..
Reply:This is a very nice poem to your friend Charlotte .This such a wonderful Ode to a true and loving girlfriend and she would love it so.
Reply:that is a very nice poem you wrote for your friend ,take care and enjoy your day
I hear the wind whisper your name
All the heartache I went through
A time when all our dreams would come true
A time when all we had was innocents
You are safe now on the other side
I told you I would hold on I would be strong
Well that was the first time I lied
The time is right my stars are aligned
Not thinking of all the things I will leave behind
Feeling the rope around my neck
I can since you are near
But the whispers of your name is all I hear
For some reason I stop
I see the blazing fire
I see your smile as it takes me higher
I remember when you got sick
My depression that I could not kick
The thing that I really miss
Would be your sweet kiss
I will go on alone
This much I know
Ever since you left long ago
Charlotte, oh charlotte
Charlotte.......?
AAAAhhhhHHH , what can i say, i felt the feeling you want to show.. it's really great, i felt the feeling i felt your dark world, i felt when she went to the safe side and you alone in this lonesome burning hell in you.. the rope is getting tighter and tighter.. cause no one or nothing can loose it for you..
dear Black knight though its a fiction but the writers feelings allways shows.. you are allways tied down by your feeling.. lingered by your pain.. TBK my friend i know you hate to be told this but.. you have to start moving on.. as days goes by your body gets older but your soul is there.. bull it out..
but one line in the whole poem is what i hated.. "I told you I would hold on I would be strong
Well that was the first time I lied " to me whateva happened you've been strong till the end now that charlotte is gone you kept your promise..
Reply:This is a very nice poem to your friend Charlotte .This such a wonderful Ode to a true and loving girlfriend and she would love it so.
Reply:that is a very nice poem you wrote for your friend ,take care and enjoy your day
I need help is anyone honest?
Is this a good beggining to a story?!
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, silent cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced down and looked into the creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the creek as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was frantically running towards the serene and tranquil looking house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I touched the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob… C-l-c-k the door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a second and thought about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started shaking frantically and crying nonstop. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
I need help is anyone honest?
lots of description, but it needs a bit of tidying up, grammar is a bit untidy in places, and jars against the descriptive nature of the earlier section. like this bit:
"A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. "
one sentence you are writing like a writer, the next you are talking like a teenager. Where does the heat come from?
"The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm" - messy.
I think it's a good start but it just needs a bit of tidying up...
words like "crying nonstop", "got", "tranquil looking", "shaking frantically" need to be rethought, substitute in some better words.
The piece might work well as a monologue but if you are going to write it, try and lose some of the street talk.
keep trying and ask your English teacher for some more pointers.
Reply:Too much.
Reply:Great!
Reply:What kind of story is this..
If it the beginning of what can be a very prosperous horror novel, I say it is great..
Some sentences could use work...
Your details make the story but they also make someone want to turn away at times..
A few sentences have to many words describing a simple scene or action..
The use of your extended vocabulary helps builds the suspence..
I would like to hear the rest...
Let me know if/when you get done..
I think it is great..
Continue with it..
Reply:ask a question that is not that long and i will bee honest........
Reply:I think it needs tweaking, but I think you are a talented writer and you have potential! Keep up the good work. I am impressed with your grammar and spelling ability also.
Reply:"Like an easygoing whistle, wind slowly passed through the night."
The wind can't whistle %26amp; be silent at the same time, (Ls. 1 %26amp; 2)
To much description. Your throwing everything plus the kitchen sink at your story. Pare it down %26amp; try using descriptive words of a verby leaning, (implies one of the five senses, or kites or some action imagery), but lighten up on the description allow the readers imagination to enter into the story, also if I recall correctly, do not use words ending w/ly or "of" in writing unless there is no other option. And adverbs, little less adverbs would be nice.
You have a nice start for a story here %26amp; keep writing, it is interesting.
Reply:Too too too too much! Simplify please.
Reply:you know how to use words thats for sure
Reply:I have writen many storys. I like it but it is a bit overdone. It sounds like a beginning to a horror story. (if that is what it is great) the first sentence could be better and the first paragraph is a bit overdone. But i like how much you explained it and i like how you made it easy to picture what is happedning.
Reply:Awesome I like it!
Reply:sounds good
Reply:That's great!!! Check out mine, that's on my question that is:
"Tell me what you think of my poem and story. It's about the world. Please. :D"
Reply:i like it!!
=]
Reply:I love the imagery and metaphors/similes. AWESOME! *(:D
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, silent cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced down and looked into the creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the creek as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was frantically running towards the serene and tranquil looking house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I touched the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob… C-l-c-k the door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a second and thought about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started shaking frantically and crying nonstop. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
I need help is anyone honest?
lots of description, but it needs a bit of tidying up, grammar is a bit untidy in places, and jars against the descriptive nature of the earlier section. like this bit:
"A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. "
one sentence you are writing like a writer, the next you are talking like a teenager. Where does the heat come from?
"The warmth brought back memories of sitting on prickly, warmed log in front of the campfire and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm" - messy.
I think it's a good start but it just needs a bit of tidying up...
words like "crying nonstop", "got", "tranquil looking", "shaking frantically" need to be rethought, substitute in some better words.
The piece might work well as a monologue but if you are going to write it, try and lose some of the street talk.
keep trying and ask your English teacher for some more pointers.
Reply:Too much.
Reply:Great!
Reply:What kind of story is this..
If it the beginning of what can be a very prosperous horror novel, I say it is great..
Some sentences could use work...
Your details make the story but they also make someone want to turn away at times..
A few sentences have to many words describing a simple scene or action..
The use of your extended vocabulary helps builds the suspence..
I would like to hear the rest...
Let me know if/when you get done..
I think it is great..
Continue with it..
Reply:ask a question that is not that long and i will bee honest........
Reply:I think it needs tweaking, but I think you are a talented writer and you have potential! Keep up the good work. I am impressed with your grammar and spelling ability also.
Reply:"Like an easygoing whistle, wind slowly passed through the night."
The wind can't whistle %26amp; be silent at the same time, (Ls. 1 %26amp; 2)
To much description. Your throwing everything plus the kitchen sink at your story. Pare it down %26amp; try using descriptive words of a verby leaning, (implies one of the five senses, or kites or some action imagery), but lighten up on the description allow the readers imagination to enter into the story, also if I recall correctly, do not use words ending w/ly or "of" in writing unless there is no other option. And adverbs, little less adverbs would be nice.
You have a nice start for a story here %26amp; keep writing, it is interesting.
Reply:Too too too too much! Simplify please.
Reply:you know how to use words thats for sure
Reply:I have writen many storys. I like it but it is a bit overdone. It sounds like a beginning to a horror story. (if that is what it is great) the first sentence could be better and the first paragraph is a bit overdone. But i like how much you explained it and i like how you made it easy to picture what is happedning.
Reply:Awesome I like it!
Reply:sounds good
Reply:That's great!!! Check out mine, that's on my question that is:
"Tell me what you think of my poem and story. It's about the world. Please. :D"
Reply:i like it!!
=]
Reply:I love the imagery and metaphors/similes. AWESOME! *(:D
I need your complete honest opinion!?
Is this a good beggining to the horror story im writing for english? thx so much
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, hushed cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced downward and looked into a creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the stream as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was recklessly running towards what seemed to be a tranquil and serene house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I tapped the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob…C-L-I-C-K! The door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a moment and pondered about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started quivering and weeping uncontrollably. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back cheerful memories. Ones of sitting on a prickly, warmed log in front of a campfire, and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
I need your complete honest opinion!?
Thats great!!! its builds suspense!!
:D
i so badly wana know why you are crying though!!!
keep up the great work!
:D
amc theatre
The wind whistled slowly but surely in the frosty night. Like an easygoing, hushed cry. Spherical stones scattered across the pavement as if they were running from the leaves that fluttered to the asphalt and danced across the street. I glanced downward and looked into a creek, about five minutes away from my house. I gazed at the stream as the ripples extended throughout the water. Seeing this made special warmth come to my heart but inside I was worried, very worried. I kept trying to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that little feeling inside of worry was just my mind's eye like I usually inform myself after I watch a bloodcurdling film. But this time, it was different I knew it. I had a certain tugging feeling, which made me terrified.
All the sudden while I was admiring the goldenrod, radiant moon and stars, the sound I had been anticipating rang in my freezing ear drums. A scream, a gory scream was coming from within that house, my house. That shriek I could not forget all the time I was recklessly running towards what seemed to be a tranquil and serene house. I was astonished my weary, tingling legs didn’t give in until I got to my destination. Then a tear trickled down my cheek as slow as a glacier, previous to even realizing what had happened. My heart was throbbing, my hands were trembling, and I could not stop crying. What I saw was a living nightmare.
I tapped the sizzling hot front entrance handle, gradually twisted the knob…C-L-I-C-K! The door made a surprising noise when I turned it to the right. I held the door handle for a moment and pondered about opening that door. Taking my hand away from the knob I started quivering and weeping uncontrollably. But without even making up my mind my trembling, pale hand reached out for the partially polished, rusted door handle once more turned the handle and popped the door open. Liquid seeped into my periwinkle sweater as I tried to stop the tears from running like a faucet down my cheek. A blazing flame heated my entire body in not even a half a second. The warmth brought back cheerful memories. Ones of sitting on a prickly, warmed log in front of a campfire, and backing away for the reason that your face became to warm.
I need your complete honest opinion!?
Thats great!!! its builds suspense!!
:D
i so badly wana know why you are crying though!!!
keep up the great work!
:D
amc theatre
Pokemon team?
I know I asked a pokemon team question earlier, but I have another lol! Here's my newly revised team (somewhat revised, atleast):
Blaziken Lvl 85 (On his way to lvl 100)
Sky Suppercut
Blaze Kick
Flare Blitz
Swampert Lvl 90 (On his way to lvl 100)
Earthquake
Take Down
Mud Bomb
Muddy Water
Rhyperior Lvl 100
Earthquake
Horn Drill
Rock Blast
Stone Edge
Dragonite Lvl 100
Surf
Fire Blast
Outrage
Dragon Rush
What other 2 pokemon (with or without moves) would you reccomend I add?
NOTE: I give 5 star ratings!
Pokemon team?
First, I would teach Dragonite: Charge Beam (replace Outrage) because there's 70% chance of Dragonite's special attack being raised after using Charge Beam. Besides, Outrage maybe strong, but it makes the pokemon confused (It's like Thrash)
For Blaziken: Fire Punch or Flamethrower
For Swampert: Blizzard in place of Take Down
Here are some ideas of what the other two Pokémon should be:
Sceptile
Electivire, Magmortor, or Dusknoir
Garchomp
Salamence
Reply:picachu
Blaziken Lvl 85 (On his way to lvl 100)
Sky Suppercut
Blaze Kick
Flare Blitz
Swampert Lvl 90 (On his way to lvl 100)
Earthquake
Take Down
Mud Bomb
Muddy Water
Rhyperior Lvl 100
Earthquake
Horn Drill
Rock Blast
Stone Edge
Dragonite Lvl 100
Surf
Fire Blast
Outrage
Dragon Rush
What other 2 pokemon (with or without moves) would you reccomend I add?
NOTE: I give 5 star ratings!
Pokemon team?
First, I would teach Dragonite: Charge Beam (replace Outrage) because there's 70% chance of Dragonite's special attack being raised after using Charge Beam. Besides, Outrage maybe strong, but it makes the pokemon confused (It's like Thrash)
For Blaziken: Fire Punch or Flamethrower
For Swampert: Blizzard in place of Take Down
Here are some ideas of what the other two Pokémon should be:
Sceptile
Electivire, Magmortor, or Dusknoir
Garchomp
Salamence
Reply:picachu
Colors Poem?
Colors are like people
There's more than meets the eye
No two are quite the same
It's own rhythm each lives by
Red a blazing fire
Or Juicy apples in July
Mobs on overcast days
A newborn babe's first cry
Orange a spark of hope
A simple act of gratitude
The fresh scent of peeled fruit
Fish with a gleeful attitude
Yellow is the sun's energy
The happiness of two friend
Warmth a smile always brings
Daffodils in summer winds
Green is life born anew
A tree so proud and tall
A young deer grazing peacefully
Soft rain finishing it's fall
Blue is a gurgling stream
Birds soaring in a cloudless sky
The peace endless oceans bring
A tear that will not dry
Purple an ultraviolet light
Twinkling stars where bats fly
A bruise from a clumsy stumble
Violets swaying under a gorgeous sky
Our differences may seem grand
Yet we're all important in life's game
For what would a rainbow be
If each color were the same?
Colors Poem?
i like it
did you write it yourself?
Reply:NICE POEM .. INTERESTING
There's more than meets the eye
No two are quite the same
It's own rhythm each lives by
Red a blazing fire
Or Juicy apples in July
Mobs on overcast days
A newborn babe's first cry
Orange a spark of hope
A simple act of gratitude
The fresh scent of peeled fruit
Fish with a gleeful attitude
Yellow is the sun's energy
The happiness of two friend
Warmth a smile always brings
Daffodils in summer winds
Green is life born anew
A tree so proud and tall
A young deer grazing peacefully
Soft rain finishing it's fall
Blue is a gurgling stream
Birds soaring in a cloudless sky
The peace endless oceans bring
A tear that will not dry
Purple an ultraviolet light
Twinkling stars where bats fly
A bruise from a clumsy stumble
Violets swaying under a gorgeous sky
Our differences may seem grand
Yet we're all important in life's game
For what would a rainbow be
If each color were the same?
Colors Poem?
i like it
did you write it yourself?
Reply:NICE POEM .. INTERESTING
Hi People Rate my deck please Monsters: Yata-Garasu, Hysteric Fairy x2, Drillago, Man-Eating Bug, Hane-Hane?
Zombyra the Dark x2
Armed Ninja, Familliar-Possessed-Wynn
Blazing Inapachi x2, Familliar-Possessed-Hiita
Mystical Elf, Island Turtle
Magician of Faith, Crimson Ninja
Masked of Darkness
4-Starred Ladybug of Doom
Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Bazoo the Soul-Eater
Dark Magician Knight, Chaos Command Magician, Swift Gaia the Fierce Knight
Command Knight, Dark Magician, Lava Golem
Black Luster Soldier-Envoy of the Beggining
Relinquished, Black Luster Soldier
Spell: Harpies Feather Duster, Ring of Magnetism, Gravekeeper's Servant, Dian Keto the Cure Maid x3, Axe of Despair x2, Pot of Greed x2, Ookazi x2, Chain energy, Salamandra
Knight's Title, the Dark Door, Change of Heart, Mystical space Typhoon, Malevolent Nuzzler
Goblin Theif, Exchange, Black Illusion Ritual
Fissure, Blask Luster Ritual, Monster Reborn
Trap: Spellbinding Circle, Reinforcements, Skill Drain, Trap Hole, Bottomless Trap Hole
Magical Hats, Fake Trap, Just Desserts,
Magic Jamer, Neddle Ceiling, Magic Cylinder
Hi People Rate my deck please Monsters: Yata-Garasu, Hysteric Fairy x2, Drillago, Man-Eating Bug, Hane-Hane?
Next time you post a deck question post it like this.
Monsters
-
-
-
Spells
-
-
-
Traps
-
-
-
Fusions
-
-
-
I guarantee more people will answer your question if you post your deck like this because it's much easier to read.
Reply:post in columns with xnumber next to card
Armed Ninja, Familliar-Possessed-Wynn
Blazing Inapachi x2, Familliar-Possessed-Hiita
Mystical Elf, Island Turtle
Magician of Faith, Crimson Ninja
Masked of Darkness
4-Starred Ladybug of Doom
Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Bazoo the Soul-Eater
Dark Magician Knight, Chaos Command Magician, Swift Gaia the Fierce Knight
Command Knight, Dark Magician, Lava Golem
Black Luster Soldier-Envoy of the Beggining
Relinquished, Black Luster Soldier
Spell: Harpies Feather Duster, Ring of Magnetism, Gravekeeper's Servant, Dian Keto the Cure Maid x3, Axe of Despair x2, Pot of Greed x2, Ookazi x2, Chain energy, Salamandra
Knight's Title, the Dark Door, Change of Heart, Mystical space Typhoon, Malevolent Nuzzler
Goblin Theif, Exchange, Black Illusion Ritual
Fissure, Blask Luster Ritual, Monster Reborn
Trap: Spellbinding Circle, Reinforcements, Skill Drain, Trap Hole, Bottomless Trap Hole
Magical Hats, Fake Trap, Just Desserts,
Magic Jamer, Neddle Ceiling, Magic Cylinder
Hi People Rate my deck please Monsters: Yata-Garasu, Hysteric Fairy x2, Drillago, Man-Eating Bug, Hane-Hane?
Next time you post a deck question post it like this.
Monsters
-
-
-
Spells
-
-
-
Traps
-
-
-
Fusions
-
-
-
I guarantee more people will answer your question if you post your deck like this because it's much easier to read.
Reply:post in columns with xnumber next to card
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